The Sunday Edition
I’d have to say yes, this is a problem I have. Doing the same thing wishing it would change. However, the same thing for me right now is putting everyone else before me, and especially my parents before me. At two weeks away from 41 years old, I try to live my own life. But they spent years and years creating a daughter who was terrified not to do as she was told. So, learning to say no to them and learninv to put myself and husband and children first is scary. When I try, it doesn’t go well. So, it’s an incredibly slow process.
I so appreciate these Sunday morning rants or rather, wake up calls, which stir feelings, thoughts and opinions - THANK YOU!
I think one of the misconceptions about change is that it’s this poetic beautiful process but in reality, it is excruciatingly painful and hard. Imagine a plant’s journey from seed - it has to break the tough outer shell and stretch thousands times its original size. This is not comfort, it’s grit and pain, and never giving up.
Maybe if we understand the true essence of change from the onset, we will be less likely to give up when obstacles appear. Maybe we learn to embrace the pain and push through feeling uncomfortable while envisioning the final result.
I hope that as we learn to do this on a micro level, the collective will lead to a change on macro level, and then as a society we can work together instead of opposing each other.
I’ve made some difficult choices and have transformed in many ways, but the work is never ending. I fail miserably sometimes but I keep trying. I talk with people every chance I have, trying to provoke them to think, listen to their struggles and give an encouraging word or perspective. I am quite happy with what I am becoming. But there’s much more growing, struggles and obstacles ahead. I am ready.
In the interest of brevity, I want to share just the last lines of Leonard Cohen’s poem Anthem (although everyone should read it), “Every heart to love will come but like a refugee.” These circumstances that test us, stretch us, and break us, do so to shine a light on what’s possible, on better ways of being and openheartedness. Each of us must be brave enough to confront ourselves, overcome our perception of separation, and live as though our external reality was an accurate reflection of our inner clarity. The outside reality doesn’t change, until enough of us change our inner reality. 💗
No, I'm doing the same things while knowing the results will be the same and I'm so freakin' tired of it. I'm tired of my choices, tired of my mental fatigue, tired of dreaming instead of living. What would happen if I made different choices, consistently? Would the dreams become reality? Would a new life begin with different dreams? What if I become what I dream of being and I'm still lonely? Would my future self say, "At least you tried."? If I don't try, and I leave this earth like I am, I will always wonder, what if ...What if's are as bad as regrets. Then again, what if I make different choices and change happens, and life is lived, and lives are changed. What if I'm the change that's needed - even for just one person or small cause. What if the micro becomes the macro! I'll never know, unless...Ok, Tyler. Today.
My feelings on this are that we don't change because some parts of whatever we're doing work - whether they work well or not is a question to answer. If it REALLY didn't work and life was painful enough, we would change. So, I find that when I am uncomfortable or unhappy, I ask myself "What is working so well that I'm not doing anything differently?" The answer often either makes me come to terms with how things are, or makes me do at least a few things differently (am I where I necessarily want to be? No. But I have a ton more clarity about why I'm where I am). Also, I leave you with the idea that wherever you put pressure is where you're going to go (great mantra for both snowboarding and life). So, the two questions are: "What is working such that nothing is changing?" and "How can I put pressure in my life so that I start moving in the right direction?"
When I queued up the podcast for my drive in this morning I wasn't sure what I expected, but the catalystic call to action was what I found and I'm here for it. I find myself so often aggravated by the seeming inertia you described and as I listened this morning I was sipping my coffee with a dozen head nods and hell yes comments....but the why are we stuck in this place and how do we get out is the real rub. The kind of change needed requires a shift in perspective on a massive scale ..and I think the commercial about people turning into their parents holds a key to what's holding us back. I agree with Violetta's take that change is a gritty and painful thing....and I think as people get older, especially when they have kids dependent on them....the issues of safety and security make a desire for gritty and painful far less palatable. What we need is a revolution and there are no painless revolutions. For example, I'd like to slay the patriarchy and the evils of late stage capitalism and to achieve those ends in my own life I've made some moves (like cutting certain people out of my life and adopting a do no harm but take no shit attitude with bigots who cross my path) but as a parent, I still have to provide for my kids so I work a job that's fulfilling on some levels and soul sucking on others....but it's still a job and we still pay taxes to support the defense department and prison industrial complex so how much of a rebel can I be? My inner warrior who wants to burn it all down gets stifled under questions about the well-being of the kids should all of our institutions crumble....are we leaving them ash and rubble then? It's so damn messy. And better leadership, sure....but as Ani DiFranco once put it, "Who's gonna be president, Tweedle Dumb or Tweedle Dumber." How do you choose better when the field is so much crap? I would love to have choices that reflect the kind of shifts we need, but every time one tries to get to DC they come under fire that requires herculean strength to withstand (See AOC and death threats....I love her BTW). That said, it's a toxic soup we swim in and massive healing we need. That's why when I hear about the energy workers of the world working with simultaneous intention, I'm somewhat hopeful.... because I think sometimes that an energetic healing of the world as a collective whole is the only real chance we have. The energetic interconnection between all living things is the only hope I see. So on that note, I'm sending love and light to all of you because it's something I CAN do. So I'm doing it. ❤️👐✨
May you be happy, healthy, and whole. May you find strength to shift your own life, and may you send your heart light into the world to heal the broken things among and between us so we can thrive. This, or something better. 🙏
I agree with every fiber of my being. You said it all so perfectly. All of these observations have been crushing me lately. It all feels like way too much to handle. And most days it feels like no one is paying attention!!!! It is times like this when I feel so grateful to be surrounded by like-minded humans. Thank god for this group.