It Could All Disappear | 4.25.21

The Sunday Edition

We’ve options on how we wander through a life, choices that shape us as we continue on the paths we choose, and what they don’t tell you is, there are billions of these choices. Every moment, a different version of us branches off and lives a life in some parallel universe, their road dictated by another set of billions of choices. This creates a cross-hatching effect, a grid of every possible outcome of every possible choice, no matter how minute, no matter how seemingly insignificant. I’ve this theory that dèjà vu is nothing but the remembering of some moment that’s already happened to some other version of us, living out some other life of different choices, some Us that was brought precisely to where we were, only sooner.

Where we go wrong, in whichever life we’re speaking of, is the idea that there is only one way through. That there is some Disneyland-Ride-On-Rails effect that is pulling us along, tricking us to believe we’ve only the pantomime of steering to placate us. We can decide, each day we wake, each moment we’re alive, to live and love the same way: We can choose ambivalence and apathy, or we can choose total investment to each breath, we can choose passion.

Opting for the apocalyptic view of our own world and existence might seem negative, might seem like a cynical way to approach our own time on this planet, but I argue the precise opposite. In Buddhism, the first of the 4 Noble Truths is that Life Is Suffering. Critics or the unlearned to this spiritual assertion argue the inherent negativity of this statement, but it’s only because they don’t understand the true meaning or depth behind it. Life is suffering because we are destined to lose every single thing we love or become attached to. It’s inevitable, the cup will break, the dog will age and pass, all we know and all we are will eventually cease, and then begin again. We’re on borrowed time, plain and simple, and if we choose to acknowledge this, more, to celebrate it, the ripple effect is a perspective of impressive and pacifying power. Should we choose to live our lives as though it could all disappear at any moment, the ephemeral beauty of every breath is highlighted, every second holds the power of the entire universe.

Right now, infinite versions of you are living their own lives, creating their own crosshatched grid that will spiral off endlessly, and sometimes we will remember. For now, all we can do is choose the option that lets us live like it could all end in half a breath. Treat every moment between now and that inevitable moment it goes dark for those beautiful blinks before the light returns like some perfect gift, leave pleasant memories for some parallel you to feel in their blissful dèjà vu.

We can choose.

Live and love the same

like it could all disappear

at any moment.

Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson

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