Fear, misunderstanding, and hate ruin so many lives and friendships. I wish it wasn’t like it is. In more recent years, I’ve had lifelong friends turn against me for my beliefs rather than just love all for who they are, accepting them, no matter what. Love is everything. It’s how and why we were all made … of love, to love.
You are so very right about this! And so too have Sarah and I. More than once. It's heartbreaking, but then settles into this perfect display of "This is how it was meant to be."
Oh man Tyler! Does this one strike a harmonic cord?!? Yes, I remember Blogspot, and as I have commented to you before, I still have some work posted to an archived site I cannot access to delete anymore… :(. Much like you and many here, I write primarily for self-preservation, not promotion or profit. I revel not in attention, but within the creative process. Not because I am embarrassed or want to hide behind what I have posted, just because promotion is not why I write. But I have been told by others to NOT just put it in a drawer. So I have posted a lot in the past, but mostly under pseudonyms without any intent of publishing. Clint Eastwood has been an emotional icon for me since his days with “Rawhide” television series back in the 1960’s ( verifying my ‘oldness’). Mind you, I’m thinking about his characters on film and not about the man himself. His personal politics would certainly not be something to emulate ( cringing on his ignominious ‘the chair’ incident in 2012) . However, let’s separate fact from fiction. His onscreen characters not only do not care what you think, they won’t give you the satisfaction of telling what they think either! Classic ‘western american’ stoicism. One of my favorite character lines was "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f****ed with? That's me." Walt Kowalski – 'Gran Torino' (2008)
“Oh what bliss for a personality! So much stoicism, combined with that “in your face” independence! Goes well with his character’s “Go ahead, make my day” reputation. I revere that type of poetic personality. Simple and direct, without any desire for amplification or attention. I get what you are saying about ‘having a thick skin for criticism’. If one publishes, they must be able to separate professional from personal criticism. I mean, I do care about critical thought and improvement of writing skills. But the motivation simply does not exist for me to publicly publish any comments or writings under my legal name. None. I continue to do my writing as therapy and share unapologetically it in various ways, like being here within your wonderful community at Signal Fire. And that is good enough for me. I’m sure that I am not alone in that thought. 🔥
Anytime I ring a chord that sounds musical to you, I feel I did a good job, so this makes me so happy. You can tell, 100%, that you write for the process, for the need to get it out of you, and that's why I'm always so drawn to what you share with us.
IF writing is your therapy, then we are so lucky to be witness to it. Truly.
I appreciate this post, it is a reminder to embrace other people's joy as often as possible. It costs so little and positively impacts the world.
Yesterday I attempted dying clothing for the first time. It's been something I've wanted to do for years and I committed. I was telling a friend about this and they actively tried to discourage me. I received a list of all the reasons dying clothes is not something I should invest energy into. I was so surprised and, while I don't know my friend's motivation, it seems clear that joy is often polarizing. The best part is: I did it anyway and am so proud of the result!
Thank you Tyler, for this reminder not to “yuck someone else’s yum”.
I tried very hard for several years to become a novelist. I self published a novel and gave copies to “friends” and “family” and some of those people earned those quotation marks.
It put me off sharing any art I created for YEARS.
We are told the importance of being our “authentic selves”, but sometimes it feels like that has a bunch of fine print after it that sucks all the meaning out of the words.
Oh boy. I’m the admin for a facebook group that is mostly boomers. They sometimes need timeouts. I actually find myself having be a benevolent dictator and just erasing mean comments. Because well there is just no time for being jerks on the internet. I’ll post a little graphic of the THINK acronym to remind people: Before posting, ask yourself is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind?
Also I think we need to just normalize erasing people‘s mean comments on your own post. And if they don’t like it, just remind them that that is your space not theirs.
Honestly people should really go outside and play more.
These are the words of life my family needed today.
If anyone in this community can reach out with love for an anonymous young one heart broken by homophobia, please do. My deepest prayer is for her heart to be able to stay open to this wild world, even when others slam theirs shut.
I find that life is so much more joyful when I can admire someone for the things that they love instead of judge them for it. I love asking people “what’s bringing you joy lately?” And I’ve begun truly hoping that the answer is something that surprises or even shocks me.
It can be fun to get riled up about things, sure. Look at any sports rivalry - people love to hate the thing that draws attention away from what they love. And I’m all for some healthy competition and fun and banter. But I think we’ve become so addicted to that riled up feeling that we begin aiming recklessly at anything we find that doesn’t fit our box. As if someone else’s joy is going to rob me of my own.
I’d love to hear from you all: what are the weird things you love? The unusual things bringing you joy? Define weird and unusual as blandly or boldly as you would like. I just want to hear about your happiness.
I have for the first time ever (crazy, I know) begun watching Stranger Things. And I have this overwhelming happy feeling that this show did a great job at making nerds cool. They are cool. And it makes me smile to see that.
So, my weird thing that I love is making playlists that fit very specific moods/contexts. And I think if I had the opportunity to be the person who selects soundtracks for tv shows, it’d be the best (but most high-pressure terrifying) job ever
I too would love to hear the weird things people love! I love finding new things to discover, to learn about, to be curious for. As for Stranger Things, it's my all time favorite thing Netflix has ever made. Truly. The way they portray the teacher, is so fucking good. He's a nerd, and he's AMAZING.
Imagine, at least try to imagine our world, our society and how different it could be if we simply listened to others and didn't judge....didn't stick our noses, or opinions into their faces....I am certainly not perfect and very often say things to disagree ( sadly on some of the most insignificant subjects) only to create a mood of uncomfortableness... maybe we all just need to learn to listen and shut up more🥰🥰
For a while now, it's all been about my hair. I went from butt length to a very close [almost buzzed] cut, and there are people who make comments, such as,"Iliked it better when [I cut my hair in stages. started with a chin length bob.], "your hair looks great right now!" ... just before it needs to be cut again. And more. I stand firm. I love it.
However, many of my customers have noted that it looks stunning and elegant. That it suits me. [and it does]. I've literally buzzed it all off before [not bald, but >really< close...] so I know that I love this far better than the length. I am a silver fox, and it shines; therefore, so do I.
This made me so sad!! At first, while reading this post, I felt completely despondent and helpless and just plain sad for all those people with miserable lives.
Here is my pledge: EVERY time I see kindness and positivity in people, I am going to post. I know in my heart that there is more good in people and we don't shout that out enough. That quiet surprise when people remember something about you, or when you reach customer service and the person helping you, really helps you. Here's to posting more kindness and decency!!
Fear, misunderstanding, and hate ruin so many lives and friendships. I wish it wasn’t like it is. In more recent years, I’ve had lifelong friends turn against me for my beliefs rather than just love all for who they are, accepting them, no matter what. Love is everything. It’s how and why we were all made … of love, to love.
You are so very right about this! And so too have Sarah and I. More than once. It's heartbreaking, but then settles into this perfect display of "This is how it was meant to be."
Oh man Tyler! Does this one strike a harmonic cord?!? Yes, I remember Blogspot, and as I have commented to you before, I still have some work posted to an archived site I cannot access to delete anymore… :(. Much like you and many here, I write primarily for self-preservation, not promotion or profit. I revel not in attention, but within the creative process. Not because I am embarrassed or want to hide behind what I have posted, just because promotion is not why I write. But I have been told by others to NOT just put it in a drawer. So I have posted a lot in the past, but mostly under pseudonyms without any intent of publishing. Clint Eastwood has been an emotional icon for me since his days with “Rawhide” television series back in the 1960’s ( verifying my ‘oldness’). Mind you, I’m thinking about his characters on film and not about the man himself. His personal politics would certainly not be something to emulate ( cringing on his ignominious ‘the chair’ incident in 2012) . However, let’s separate fact from fiction. His onscreen characters not only do not care what you think, they won’t give you the satisfaction of telling what they think either! Classic ‘western american’ stoicism. One of my favorite character lines was "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f****ed with? That's me." Walt Kowalski – 'Gran Torino' (2008)
“Oh what bliss for a personality! So much stoicism, combined with that “in your face” independence! Goes well with his character’s “Go ahead, make my day” reputation. I revere that type of poetic personality. Simple and direct, without any desire for amplification or attention. I get what you are saying about ‘having a thick skin for criticism’. If one publishes, they must be able to separate professional from personal criticism. I mean, I do care about critical thought and improvement of writing skills. But the motivation simply does not exist for me to publicly publish any comments or writings under my legal name. None. I continue to do my writing as therapy and share unapologetically it in various ways, like being here within your wonderful community at Signal Fire. And that is good enough for me. I’m sure that I am not alone in that thought. 🔥
Anytime I ring a chord that sounds musical to you, I feel I did a good job, so this makes me so happy. You can tell, 100%, that you write for the process, for the need to get it out of you, and that's why I'm always so drawn to what you share with us.
IF writing is your therapy, then we are so lucky to be witness to it. Truly.
I appreciate this post, it is a reminder to embrace other people's joy as often as possible. It costs so little and positively impacts the world.
Yesterday I attempted dying clothing for the first time. It's been something I've wanted to do for years and I committed. I was telling a friend about this and they actively tried to discourage me. I received a list of all the reasons dying clothes is not something I should invest energy into. I was so surprised and, while I don't know my friend's motivation, it seems clear that joy is often polarizing. The best part is: I did it anyway and am so proud of the result!
YESSSSS! This is it. Embracing another's joy costs NOTHING, and might just open your eyes to something your whole life was missing. :)
Thank you. This needed to be said.
Sometimes it's hard saying the true thing out loud. I'm sure I ruffled some feathers here. What can you do?
Thank you Tyler, for this reminder not to “yuck someone else’s yum”.
I tried very hard for several years to become a novelist. I self published a novel and gave copies to “friends” and “family” and some of those people earned those quotation marks.
It put me off sharing any art I created for YEARS.
We are told the importance of being our “authentic selves”, but sometimes it feels like that has a bunch of fine print after it that sucks all the meaning out of the words.
It's always the quotation mark people that are the hardest to deal with, to put away. I'll tell you, always, to be EVERYTHING you are here. Always.
Oh boy. I’m the admin for a facebook group that is mostly boomers. They sometimes need timeouts. I actually find myself having be a benevolent dictator and just erasing mean comments. Because well there is just no time for being jerks on the internet. I’ll post a little graphic of the THINK acronym to remind people: Before posting, ask yourself is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind?
Also I think we need to just normalize erasing people‘s mean comments on your own post. And if they don’t like it, just remind them that that is your space not theirs.
Honestly people should really go outside and play more.
Hahaha your closing line is MAGIC. Yep, fully, fully agree. Here's to THINKing.
These are the words of life my family needed today.
If anyone in this community can reach out with love for an anonymous young one heart broken by homophobia, please do. My deepest prayer is for her heart to be able to stay open to this wild world, even when others slam theirs shut.
Oh noooo, how can we help? You know our feelings here on that, we're all in to help.
I don’t know what to ask for. But I know we need help. All there is to do is love.
... then love is what I send to your whole family. May you and yours find peace.
Thank you, Gayle. What a difference a little love can make. All goodness to you.
I find that life is so much more joyful when I can admire someone for the things that they love instead of judge them for it. I love asking people “what’s bringing you joy lately?” And I’ve begun truly hoping that the answer is something that surprises or even shocks me.
It can be fun to get riled up about things, sure. Look at any sports rivalry - people love to hate the thing that draws attention away from what they love. And I’m all for some healthy competition and fun and banter. But I think we’ve become so addicted to that riled up feeling that we begin aiming recklessly at anything we find that doesn’t fit our box. As if someone else’s joy is going to rob me of my own.
I’d love to hear from you all: what are the weird things you love? The unusual things bringing you joy? Define weird and unusual as blandly or boldly as you would like. I just want to hear about your happiness.
I have for the first time ever (crazy, I know) begun watching Stranger Things. And I have this overwhelming happy feeling that this show did a great job at making nerds cool. They are cool. And it makes me smile to see that.
So, my weird thing that I love is making playlists that fit very specific moods/contexts. And I think if I had the opportunity to be the person who selects soundtracks for tv shows, it’d be the best (but most high-pressure terrifying) job ever
I too would love to hear the weird things people love! I love finding new things to discover, to learn about, to be curious for. As for Stranger Things, it's my all time favorite thing Netflix has ever made. Truly. The way they portray the teacher, is so fucking good. He's a nerd, and he's AMAZING.
Imagine, at least try to imagine our world, our society and how different it could be if we simply listened to others and didn't judge....didn't stick our noses, or opinions into their faces....I am certainly not perfect and very often say things to disagree ( sadly on some of the most insignificant subjects) only to create a mood of uncomfortableness... maybe we all just need to learn to listen and shut up more🥰🥰
You're so very right. What a better world if we all just were curious and not judgemental!
For a while now, it's all been about my hair. I went from butt length to a very close [almost buzzed] cut, and there are people who make comments, such as,"Iliked it better when [I cut my hair in stages. started with a chin length bob.], "your hair looks great right now!" ... just before it needs to be cut again. And more. I stand firm. I love it.
However, many of my customers have noted that it looks stunning and elegant. That it suits me. [and it does]. I've literally buzzed it all off before [not bald, but >really< close...] so I know that I love this far better than the length. I am a silver fox, and it shines; therefore, so do I.
This made me so sad!! At first, while reading this post, I felt completely despondent and helpless and just plain sad for all those people with miserable lives.
Here is my pledge: EVERY time I see kindness and positivity in people, I am going to post. I know in my heart that there is more good in people and we don't shout that out enough. That quiet surprise when people remember something about you, or when you reach customer service and the person helping you, really helps you. Here's to posting more kindness and decency!!
YES! You are so amazing Rosemary. We always stay so quiet on the good stuff, don't we? Our world just rewards negativity, and we gotta take it back!