My 2 cents.. I was the mom that said to my teens, sorry, you go to school & you are not employed..no cell phone. Use the pay phone at school if needed. Man, they hated me. Now, 20 years later…I watch the mere compulsion, obsession, draining the battery all day, mindlessly scrolling, head down, tuned out. I watch their children… ignored, no eye contact, no dinner conversations…and now I read..20 years later, recent Studies show children 12 and under with a phone (not monitored ), subjected to bullying, social influencers, depression, and isolation. I’m pretty sure their parents (millennials era), are at the restaurant, all of them on phones..heads down, staring into nothing..and quite frankly…missing Everything that truly matters.
Thank you for the mirror, for the reflection and for the opportunity to remember to not be numbed and entitled by the current water so many of us have been swimming in.
I feel called in on this one. A breath of fresh air. Thanks for the reminder that being human is okay, the healthy, the most natural, and the most needed thing there is. A call back to simple. Appreciate you greatly. p.s. I think you would like TJ Power and his book The DOSE Effect.
I aim for breaths of fresh air, even when it's hard to hear! We're always allowed to be humans, I Just always think we need to keep tabs on what that means ;)
I love technology because I’m a curious person who has lots of questions and loves to learn. I thought being in the digital age meant I had the ability to learn constantly by having all my questions answered. But I’m starting to realize (as I start my year of trying to live more analogue) that most of my questions don’t really need an answer. And it’s okay for me to wonder and not find out
I’m on both sides of the fence here with this one. I feel sorry for anyone who scored high on your ‘quiz’- I can’t imagine any of your ‘followers’ would be this way. I had to read/ listen to this a few times- a lot of different things here. It’s a real double-edged sword. I do like having quick access to knowledge, music, media, friends. I don’t feel entitled to this; I still marvel at it because I grew up before all of this, when this would have been science fiction. Because I use my phone for so many things, I do have to be careful how much time I spend- reach for a book instead, directly communicate with people, and just make sure I am busy with other real things and people in my life. It needs to be a tool. My kids grew up with phones but not until they were at least 14 ( the oldest had to wait longer). Not that they weren’t already exposed to other technology like game systems. And then there’s the use of technology in the schools. I know there are parents who want it all paper/pencil but kids need to have the skills to use technology effectively, although there are all kinds of issues around tech use in schools. My oldest son completed a 3-yr BA degree entirely online during Covid; it was actually better suited to his learning style since he had some attention issues. As a parent and a former elementary teacher for 30 years, I think the problem is the total amount of screen time in their lives at school and at home combined and most importantly, what they can access online. For this reason, I don’t think kids should have personal cell phones until at least grade 7… but at this point, in my experience, kids at this age who cannot/ are not allowed to communicate with friends via social media often get left out of what’s going on, sadly. We need to talk to kids about healthy consumption in terms of amount and content and make sure there is a balance in their lives- in our own lives- engaging in face-to-face activities with families and friends- without pulling out our phones. Easier said than done.
Double edged so very indeed, and I do agree here. I think the easier-said-than-done thing is what makes me the saddest about all this, and I feel it not just about this issue, but about SO MANY we're facing. We know what we need to do, but doing it is so hard, as there are so many things making it damn near impossible, you know?
Sorry, this is too long, but it’s shorter than what I originally wrote…:)
You are right… “entitlement leads to expectation”. And when I look up definitions in my 75 year old hardbound “Funk & Wagnalls” dictionary (always fun to say that name), I note the origin of entitlement is “privilege”
entitlement: /in-ˈtī-tᵊl-mənt/ - noun
: the belief or state that one is deserving to benefits or certain privileges
privilege : /ˈpriv(ə)lij/ - noun
a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.
So, it seems one could make the case that entitlement is more about privilege, or expectations of what we "deserve". I'm reminded the novel “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens, first published in 1860 that follows the life of an orphan named Pip as he “copes” with a life in the shadows of wealth and the importance of loyalty over social advancement. The novel illustrates life's in-human conditions, reminding us to look for open doors, not just closed ones. Coping is the alternative to “great expectations” of what we “deserve” or as you put it so succinctly; "The world doesn't owe us anything at all."
The actor, Keanu Reeves is known for quotes promoting non-reaction and inner peace, emphasizing that coping means sometimes choosing not to engage,focusing on inner resilience rather than external validation of our privileges; “Not every battle is worth engaging in, and not every opinion needs my validation."
When I listened to your post over coffee this morning, the challenge I heard was the “human weight” , and not as you wrote “the Human Wait”… lol. But then I stopped the compare the two. The former brings more recognition of our complex reasoning, versus how other creatures on earth simply react to their environments.
This results in a dilemma of which is more important to understanding a changing environment? “Human Wait” is a form of coping (reacting and adapting) versus the burden of “human weight” which is that entitled/ privileged characteristic (or technically known as anthropogenic Co-opting) - using our privileged reasoning to just change the environment rather than adapt. The answer from evolution says survival of an organism depends on its adaptation. Most creatures adapt through hardwired instincts or rapid associative learning. They “cope”. Modern humans co-opt by altering the environment to suit their needs. So, we are actually learning how to not cope very well. That is our “human weight”.
Beyond the binary choice between privilege / entitlement and just coping, there is gratitude. Privilege is the advantage itself, while entitlement is the demand for it. Yes, gratitude is what separates the two, allowing individuals to appreciate and cope with what’s in their life, rather than give into what they believe they are “entitled to”.
Bro, you nailed this. I literally wrote in my journal this week “it is not a technology crisis, it is not a mental health crisis, it is a crisis of our desire to be desired.”
It is so lonely here on Earth now! Everyone in their own little world, looking at their phones; waiting in lines, eating a meal, on a break. We miss so much LIFE when our heads are down!
Another thing that I am finding, is that curiosity is squelched when you know you can have the answer to any question -- it's right there in your hand, so why bother? I train 15-20 year olds in sport coaching, and my biggest challenge is getting them to ask: WHY?? Why do we do this drill? Why do we use those words when speaking to children? Why are the children distracted and why are they not having fun?? All questions that Google cannot answer, so we default to "the way we've always done it". I feel like we're just caught in that whirlpool circling the drain!!
So yes! I want to be part of the Human Wait!! I want to keep my head UP and see what is going on in the world! I hope with all my heart that someday, someday, I might make eye contact and connect with another human who has their head up. Thank-you Tyler, for this encouragement and for this opportunity to look at ourselves and for being a catalyst for change for the better! (Gosh, so many exclamation marks. LoL -- I am obviously very passionate about this topic.)
Ooof you're so very right. More connected than ever, lonelier than ever all the same. I'm actively working, and clearly campaigning, against this! Here's to all the "WHY" questions you're forcing people to ask, and all the changes that'll come from it!
Tyler, thank you for the excellent reminder! While I'm not on social media (other than here), I do believe we need to slow down, get bored, daydream, get lost, and immerse ourselves in magic whenever we can. As you know, my life fell apart in significant ways at the end of 2012 and I fell into a period of depression. It was during recovery that I bought your book, Chasers of the Light, and started carrying it around in my purse. I would use all the moments waiting at a doctor's appointment or standing in line for coffee, etc. to pull out your book and read a poem or several. It was so life-affirming, that it became the beginning of a practice that I maintain today. Instead of reaching for my phone, I read a poem, take deep breaths, and daydream. I've discovered that awe, wonder, magic, and connection exist only in the spaciousness we give them! Always grateful for how your words and the images they conjure, the feelings they ignite, and the wonder they invite began such a meaningful practice for me. 🙏🏻❤️
You are very, very, very welcome. I knew you'd get it, I knew you'd feel similar. Knowing I was with you during that time means more than you'll ever know, and I hope you know that. I'm so glad we're still here, together.
Thank you for footing the bill, TKG. Maybe you're our DT during the 500 Miles days (how the crew so joyfully got their Proclaimers on will always be a joy [the original & his BAFTA version both being on Youtube]) 💙💙
Easter egg to previous Sunday Church - maybe they’re carrying a cake as they drive slowly.
Everyone’s fighting battles we know nothing about. But that doesn’t make the Lightchasers envoys of emotional dialysis & community healing either.
Love yourself first. With tender ferocity. Allow yourself to change your mind. Do not engage with dipshits not on your bandwith - your energy & time are such precious resources
Know that growth is non-linear (she says, knowing full well that she is loved here.). You’ve got this 🤍
Damn, this is POWERFUL!!!! And so true. I like to think I’m not controlled by my phone but I’ve become aware of so many ways it contributes to my anxiety. The other day I straight up put it in my bedroom and spent had the day without it because I just couldn’t take it. I’m definitely looking for more ways to step back and find balance again. I find myself longing for old technology even haha. Oh the days when we actually allowed ourselves to be bored and go out and do things that didn’t involve phones and internet. I want to bring more of that energy to my life.
Ahh I'm so glad you liked this one. The link between phone and anxiety is IMMENSE, and I try so hard to remind my people I love about this. They always marvel at how stressed they feel, but never ever relate it to the device in their hands. You can turn your mobile phone into a landline REAL fast by just putting the ringer on, and sitting it on the counter and never allowing it into your pocket. :)
I actually just discovered a new female owned small business that is making landline phones that you can connect your cell phone to via Bluetooth. I pre-ordered one and it comes this month. I’m excited cuz I used to love talking on a landline. I’m gonna make my people actually call me like old times. 😂
My 2 cents.. I was the mom that said to my teens, sorry, you go to school & you are not employed..no cell phone. Use the pay phone at school if needed. Man, they hated me. Now, 20 years later…I watch the mere compulsion, obsession, draining the battery all day, mindlessly scrolling, head down, tuned out. I watch their children… ignored, no eye contact, no dinner conversations…and now I read..20 years later, recent Studies show children 12 and under with a phone (not monitored ), subjected to bullying, social influencers, depression, and isolation. I’m pretty sure their parents (millennials era), are at the restaurant, all of them on phones..heads down, staring into nothing..and quite frankly…missing Everything that truly matters.
A wonderful 2 cents! It's insane watching how bad the obsession has gotten, and it's heartbreaking feeling so helpless sometimes.
Yeeeeeessss
Thank you for the mirror, for the reflection and for the opportunity to remember to not be numbed and entitled by the current water so many of us have been swimming in.
You are so very welcome! I'm fighting so hard against the numbing!
I feel called in on this one. A breath of fresh air. Thanks for the reminder that being human is okay, the healthy, the most natural, and the most needed thing there is. A call back to simple. Appreciate you greatly. p.s. I think you would like TJ Power and his book The DOSE Effect.
I aim for breaths of fresh air, even when it's hard to hear! We're always allowed to be humans, I Just always think we need to keep tabs on what that means ;)
I love technology because I’m a curious person who has lots of questions and loves to learn. I thought being in the digital age meant I had the ability to learn constantly by having all my questions answered. But I’m starting to realize (as I start my year of trying to live more analogue) that most of my questions don’t really need an answer. And it’s okay for me to wonder and not find out
Wow, this is huge, and true, and YES. Most questions DO NOT need answering. Most can, and should, remain mystery. I love that.
I’m on both sides of the fence here with this one. I feel sorry for anyone who scored high on your ‘quiz’- I can’t imagine any of your ‘followers’ would be this way. I had to read/ listen to this a few times- a lot of different things here. It’s a real double-edged sword. I do like having quick access to knowledge, music, media, friends. I don’t feel entitled to this; I still marvel at it because I grew up before all of this, when this would have been science fiction. Because I use my phone for so many things, I do have to be careful how much time I spend- reach for a book instead, directly communicate with people, and just make sure I am busy with other real things and people in my life. It needs to be a tool. My kids grew up with phones but not until they were at least 14 ( the oldest had to wait longer). Not that they weren’t already exposed to other technology like game systems. And then there’s the use of technology in the schools. I know there are parents who want it all paper/pencil but kids need to have the skills to use technology effectively, although there are all kinds of issues around tech use in schools. My oldest son completed a 3-yr BA degree entirely online during Covid; it was actually better suited to his learning style since he had some attention issues. As a parent and a former elementary teacher for 30 years, I think the problem is the total amount of screen time in their lives at school and at home combined and most importantly, what they can access online. For this reason, I don’t think kids should have personal cell phones until at least grade 7… but at this point, in my experience, kids at this age who cannot/ are not allowed to communicate with friends via social media often get left out of what’s going on, sadly. We need to talk to kids about healthy consumption in terms of amount and content and make sure there is a balance in their lives- in our own lives- engaging in face-to-face activities with families and friends- without pulling out our phones. Easier said than done.
Double edged so very indeed, and I do agree here. I think the easier-said-than-done thing is what makes me the saddest about all this, and I feel it not just about this issue, but about SO MANY we're facing. We know what we need to do, but doing it is so hard, as there are so many things making it damn near impossible, you know?
Sorry, this is too long, but it’s shorter than what I originally wrote…:)
You are right… “entitlement leads to expectation”. And when I look up definitions in my 75 year old hardbound “Funk & Wagnalls” dictionary (always fun to say that name), I note the origin of entitlement is “privilege”
entitlement: /in-ˈtī-tᵊl-mənt/ - noun
: the belief or state that one is deserving to benefits or certain privileges
privilege : /ˈpriv(ə)lij/ - noun
a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.
So, it seems one could make the case that entitlement is more about privilege, or expectations of what we "deserve". I'm reminded the novel “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens, first published in 1860 that follows the life of an orphan named Pip as he “copes” with a life in the shadows of wealth and the importance of loyalty over social advancement. The novel illustrates life's in-human conditions, reminding us to look for open doors, not just closed ones. Coping is the alternative to “great expectations” of what we “deserve” or as you put it so succinctly; "The world doesn't owe us anything at all."
The actor, Keanu Reeves is known for quotes promoting non-reaction and inner peace, emphasizing that coping means sometimes choosing not to engage,focusing on inner resilience rather than external validation of our privileges; “Not every battle is worth engaging in, and not every opinion needs my validation."
When I listened to your post over coffee this morning, the challenge I heard was the “human weight” , and not as you wrote “the Human Wait”… lol. But then I stopped the compare the two. The former brings more recognition of our complex reasoning, versus how other creatures on earth simply react to their environments.
This results in a dilemma of which is more important to understanding a changing environment? “Human Wait” is a form of coping (reacting and adapting) versus the burden of “human weight” which is that entitled/ privileged characteristic (or technically known as anthropogenic Co-opting) - using our privileged reasoning to just change the environment rather than adapt. The answer from evolution says survival of an organism depends on its adaptation. Most creatures adapt through hardwired instincts or rapid associative learning. They “cope”. Modern humans co-opt by altering the environment to suit their needs. So, we are actually learning how to not cope very well. That is our “human weight”.
Beyond the binary choice between privilege / entitlement and just coping, there is gratitude. Privilege is the advantage itself, while entitlement is the demand for it. Yes, gratitude is what separates the two, allowing individuals to appreciate and cope with what’s in their life, rather than give into what they believe they are “entitled to”.
Coping and carrying on:
The world just ended,
When my phone battery died.
Lookup smoke signals?
“Waiting for Godot”
My computer is updating…
It says “please stand bye”.
If your car breaks down,
You can still use your two feet...
Or enjoy the view.
No river runs straight.
Always flowing round the hard,
To find its way home.
Birds fly north and south.
They don’t migrate east and west.
Learn to be a bird.
If I’ve learned one thing…
I’m entitled to one thing.
Just that I am here.
An impaired man said:
“Life is good, if you want that…
To all else; adapt ”.
What I got in life…
Not what I expected… yet,
More than I deserve.
Sage Kevin, you had me at Pip & Keanu
The poem you ended this with is magnificent.
Bro, you nailed this. I literally wrote in my journal this week “it is not a technology crisis, it is not a mental health crisis, it is a crisis of our desire to be desired.”
It's such a damn relief finding people that feel the same, see things in lit by similar lamps. Your journal entry is perfect.
It is so lonely here on Earth now! Everyone in their own little world, looking at their phones; waiting in lines, eating a meal, on a break. We miss so much LIFE when our heads are down!
Another thing that I am finding, is that curiosity is squelched when you know you can have the answer to any question -- it's right there in your hand, so why bother? I train 15-20 year olds in sport coaching, and my biggest challenge is getting them to ask: WHY?? Why do we do this drill? Why do we use those words when speaking to children? Why are the children distracted and why are they not having fun?? All questions that Google cannot answer, so we default to "the way we've always done it". I feel like we're just caught in that whirlpool circling the drain!!
So yes! I want to be part of the Human Wait!! I want to keep my head UP and see what is going on in the world! I hope with all my heart that someday, someday, I might make eye contact and connect with another human who has their head up. Thank-you Tyler, for this encouragement and for this opportunity to look at ourselves and for being a catalyst for change for the better! (Gosh, so many exclamation marks. LoL -- I am obviously very passionate about this topic.)
Ooof you're so very right. More connected than ever, lonelier than ever all the same. I'm actively working, and clearly campaigning, against this! Here's to all the "WHY" questions you're forcing people to ask, and all the changes that'll come from it!
Tyler, thank you for the excellent reminder! While I'm not on social media (other than here), I do believe we need to slow down, get bored, daydream, get lost, and immerse ourselves in magic whenever we can. As you know, my life fell apart in significant ways at the end of 2012 and I fell into a period of depression. It was during recovery that I bought your book, Chasers of the Light, and started carrying it around in my purse. I would use all the moments waiting at a doctor's appointment or standing in line for coffee, etc. to pull out your book and read a poem or several. It was so life-affirming, that it became the beginning of a practice that I maintain today. Instead of reaching for my phone, I read a poem, take deep breaths, and daydream. I've discovered that awe, wonder, magic, and connection exist only in the spaciousness we give them! Always grateful for how your words and the images they conjure, the feelings they ignite, and the wonder they invite began such a meaningful practice for me. 🙏🏻❤️
You are very, very, very welcome. I knew you'd get it, I knew you'd feel similar. Knowing I was with you during that time means more than you'll ever know, and I hope you know that. I'm so glad we're still here, together.
Thank you for footing the bill, TKG. Maybe you're our DT during the 500 Miles days (how the crew so joyfully got their Proclaimers on will always be a joy [the original & his BAFTA version both being on Youtube]) 💙💙
Easter egg to previous Sunday Church - maybe they’re carrying a cake as they drive slowly.
Everyone’s fighting battles we know nothing about. But that doesn’t make the Lightchasers envoys of emotional dialysis & community healing either.
Love yourself first. With tender ferocity. Allow yourself to change your mind. Do not engage with dipshits not on your bandwith - your energy & time are such precious resources
Know that growth is non-linear (she says, knowing full well that she is loved here.). You’ve got this 🤍
Wonderful reminder-goes with my energy as we start 2026! Slow, steady, intentional-that's what i feel myself craving
Slow and steady, as the tortoise knows, wins the race.
Damn, this is POWERFUL!!!! And so true. I like to think I’m not controlled by my phone but I’ve become aware of so many ways it contributes to my anxiety. The other day I straight up put it in my bedroom and spent had the day without it because I just couldn’t take it. I’m definitely looking for more ways to step back and find balance again. I find myself longing for old technology even haha. Oh the days when we actually allowed ourselves to be bored and go out and do things that didn’t involve phones and internet. I want to bring more of that energy to my life.
Ahh I'm so glad you liked this one. The link between phone and anxiety is IMMENSE, and I try so hard to remind my people I love about this. They always marvel at how stressed they feel, but never ever relate it to the device in their hands. You can turn your mobile phone into a landline REAL fast by just putting the ringer on, and sitting it on the counter and never allowing it into your pocket. :)
I actually just discovered a new female owned small business that is making landline phones that you can connect your cell phone to via Bluetooth. I pre-ordered one and it comes this month. I’m excited cuz I used to love talking on a landline. I’m gonna make my people actually call me like old times. 😂
WHAT IS THIS!?
https://physicalphones.com/
ORDERING.
YAY OMG LOVE IT