Holy shit dude. This one struck me like lightning.
I’ve isolated myself from the world-people and it’s left me feeling lonely and lost.
This week I’ve been craving connection and attempting to answer a question in my head “where did everyone go?” And in reality—they’re still there. It was that I went on an isolating adventure and my expectations of others was kind of wild. How could anyone know I needed them if I vanished and didn’t answer anyone’s check-ins?!
The answer is giving (when you have to capacity for it). It’s showing up. It’s love and hugs. Laughs and snorts.
It’s community. Its chats in the forest, big or small.
It’s meeting up for tea.
It’s simply more, so we can all feel lighter.
Man—I am so glad this is the first thing I read on my early Sunday morning💕 it was perfectly timed.
The lightning strike! Sometimes it comes without warning and oooof does it shake stuff up haha. "It's simply more, so we can all feel lighter" is such a stunning way to say all this. Grateful for YOU.
I'm so glad you like the Buddhtisms term! I kinda dig it myself my friend. Thank you for yet another gem that you provide us all. We owe you, as per usual, though I know that's not why you give hahaha.
Thanks for this one, Tyler. I too, don't know how to NOT be a giver. Sure, I need to practice better boundaries but it's ultimately how I'm wired, and people who are not like me, don't understand... They think I'm only doing it for the recipients of my giving, but there's a selfish motivation.... The feeling I get when someone's eyes light up, like they thought the world forgot to pay attention to their heart but somehow I saw them and what they needed or wanted, I gifted them joy that struck the exact right cord.... Man, I love thsy feeling.
You're right; giving and caring and loving each other... That's the answer
It truly is the answer. It's so important to realize how we are wired, and to honor that, but you're right too, finding boundaries sometimes is the only way to KEEP being who we are. Saying that is far easier than Doing that though haha.
As compelling as that formula is, it’s hard to quantify any relationship. Perhaps the ones who don’t reciprocate have the least to give and can’t see beyond their own needs. Perhaps people are so used your collective strength as givers that they fail to recognize your moments of weakness, that they would be surprised, even, to think that together you would be anything but strong- but that also suggests that they don’t really know you both very well. Don’t they listen to the Signal Fire?!? Tending to your own needs and recharging is essential, as you said; otherwise one’s ability to give becomes halfhearted and even grudging.
Yep, that's precisely why I ended this piece the way I did...that formula is technically perfect but lacks EVERYTHING that makes us, well, US. And how you closed this is so precisely accurate. Thank you, as usual.
This is something I struggle with too, and very occasionally have moments of bitterness where I wonder why I keep bothering.
What helps me is to ensure that whatever it is that I need is still being met, even if I provide it myself.
For example, I put a fair bit of time each week into crafting a mindfulness meditation session for my workplace. Everyone who attends is grateful, some say thank you or some other little word-treasures. But no one seems to appreciate how much work goes into writing them.
So I make sure I acknowledge that work, by printing each out and keeping them in a pretty folder.
I give myself the recognition of that effort.
It has also awakened me to acknowledging this in others, so…
Thank you Tyler for the work you put in to this amazing community, the incredible poems and prompts and essays you share with us.
Oh goodness Kit, thank YOU for being such a foundational part of this community. It's valued more than you'll ever know. People like you are why I keep giving and trying. Truly. I hope you know Your efforts never go unnoticed here, though they may in your "other" life. I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes it's so hard to not get discouraged that out of 13,000+ people, only about 350 are willing to be paid subscribers. Still we press on!
When I was listening to the formula, it hit me as a very capitalistic equation. Giving in the material sense, opposed to the emotional. It is important to have boundaries and ensure that we are not draining ourselves-and this is true of financial and emotional giving! However, I learned a song in grade two music class that stuck with me as the mantra of my life: Loves just like a magic penny. hold it close and you won’t have any. Lend it, spend it, and you’ll have so many, they’ll roll all over the floor, oh! Love is something if you give it away! Give away! Give it away! Oh! Love is something if you give it away, you’ll end up having more! There was an adorable choreography that went with the song and I had a rockin’ 80s mullet that I think you should be aware of to really appreciate the visual of this memory. I think you will find the song more helpful than the AI generated formula!
:) I love this song. And this is exactly why I ended the article the way I did :) We'd NEVER follow this forumla, never ever, for all the reasons you mentioned.
Wow, this one is gold. Isn't is so interesting to see what AI can come up with? But also, 1000% yes to realizing that it will always be flawed because it is not human. I loved the contrast you played with in this piece. I agree wholeheartedly. I too have struggled with this. I actually just realized the other day that with most of my friends, I am the one who makes the plans. I'm usually the one that reaches out first, that asks to hang out, that offers up suggestions. I found myself wishing that someone would reach out to me first. That someone else would make a plan and ask me to join them. I love my close friends dearly, and I know they love spending time with me, but it does sting some days when I have to always be the one to seek out connection. I wonder how long I would go without hanging out with friends if I stopped reaching out? Who would notice my retreat? But then again, idk how to stop reaching, how to stop caring, how to stop giving.
That's always been my biggest gripe with AI, it just completely lacks humanity, and always will. I imagine our future will be one where AI takes over jobs (in a huge %) that don't require that humanity, but I am so hopeful that all other things that DO require it, stay. Here's hoping.
Holy shit dude. This one struck me like lightning.
I’ve isolated myself from the world-people and it’s left me feeling lonely and lost.
This week I’ve been craving connection and attempting to answer a question in my head “where did everyone go?” And in reality—they’re still there. It was that I went on an isolating adventure and my expectations of others was kind of wild. How could anyone know I needed them if I vanished and didn’t answer anyone’s check-ins?!
The answer is giving (when you have to capacity for it). It’s showing up. It’s love and hugs. Laughs and snorts.
It’s community. Its chats in the forest, big or small.
It’s meeting up for tea.
It’s simply more, so we can all feel lighter.
Man—I am so glad this is the first thing I read on my early Sunday morning💕 it was perfectly timed.
Grateful for you all.
The lightning strike! Sometimes it comes without warning and oooof does it shake stuff up haha. "It's simply more, so we can all feel lighter" is such a stunning way to say all this. Grateful for YOU.
Reciprocity undone.
The first law of thermodynamics:
“Energy is constant”
Such coldness; so absolute
That’s what I learned in school
Except, why do we give freely?
Expecting nothing in return
Such logic; so inhuman
That’s what I learned in life.
I love getting what I give
You know! It’s written in “the book”.
That line about ‘do unto others’.
It beats a knock on the head!
It is NOT the same thing.
Reciprocity and giving, I mean.
Like juggling a feather and a house
And expecting to find balance.
“Those who give lack nothing”
Is another one of those phrases:
Freely given in sermons,
And left abandoned in the pews.
We’re all carbon-copy weirdness;
Buying lottery tickets
And donating stuff to charity.
All in the same day.
If common sense prevails…
(And it usually never does)
There is nothing left to give,
When you’re exhausted and broke.
Welcome to my world,
Where I do it the hard way.
Like learning to cook…
By lighting fire in the microwave.
If I want to give
Until all the giving is gone.
Then I will happily wallow
In my misery of nothingness.
For it is written; somewhere…
“Real life is not found in the middle”.
And having little left to give,
Feels like the greatest gift of all!”
Epilogue:
Btw… thanks for teaching us another favorite … I ❤️ the term “Buddtisms”!
I'm so glad you like the Buddhtisms term! I kinda dig it myself my friend. Thank you for yet another gem that you provide us all. We owe you, as per usual, though I know that's not why you give hahaha.
Thanks for this one, Tyler. I too, don't know how to NOT be a giver. Sure, I need to practice better boundaries but it's ultimately how I'm wired, and people who are not like me, don't understand... They think I'm only doing it for the recipients of my giving, but there's a selfish motivation.... The feeling I get when someone's eyes light up, like they thought the world forgot to pay attention to their heart but somehow I saw them and what they needed or wanted, I gifted them joy that struck the exact right cord.... Man, I love thsy feeling.
You're right; giving and caring and loving each other... That's the answer
It truly is the answer. It's so important to realize how we are wired, and to honor that, but you're right too, finding boundaries sometimes is the only way to KEEP being who we are. Saying that is far easier than Doing that though haha.
As compelling as that formula is, it’s hard to quantify any relationship. Perhaps the ones who don’t reciprocate have the least to give and can’t see beyond their own needs. Perhaps people are so used your collective strength as givers that they fail to recognize your moments of weakness, that they would be surprised, even, to think that together you would be anything but strong- but that also suggests that they don’t really know you both very well. Don’t they listen to the Signal Fire?!? Tending to your own needs and recharging is essential, as you said; otherwise one’s ability to give becomes halfhearted and even grudging.
Yep, that's precisely why I ended this piece the way I did...that formula is technically perfect but lacks EVERYTHING that makes us, well, US. And how you closed this is so precisely accurate. Thank you, as usual.
This is something I struggle with too, and very occasionally have moments of bitterness where I wonder why I keep bothering.
What helps me is to ensure that whatever it is that I need is still being met, even if I provide it myself.
For example, I put a fair bit of time each week into crafting a mindfulness meditation session for my workplace. Everyone who attends is grateful, some say thank you or some other little word-treasures. But no one seems to appreciate how much work goes into writing them.
So I make sure I acknowledge that work, by printing each out and keeping them in a pretty folder.
I give myself the recognition of that effort.
It has also awakened me to acknowledging this in others, so…
Thank you Tyler for the work you put in to this amazing community, the incredible poems and prompts and essays you share with us.
I recognise the effort you take.
Oh goodness Kit, thank YOU for being such a foundational part of this community. It's valued more than you'll ever know. People like you are why I keep giving and trying. Truly. I hope you know Your efforts never go unnoticed here, though they may in your "other" life. I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes it's so hard to not get discouraged that out of 13,000+ people, only about 350 are willing to be paid subscribers. Still we press on!
Thank you for making me feel seen and heard ❤️
Thank YOU for the very same thing.
When I was listening to the formula, it hit me as a very capitalistic equation. Giving in the material sense, opposed to the emotional. It is important to have boundaries and ensure that we are not draining ourselves-and this is true of financial and emotional giving! However, I learned a song in grade two music class that stuck with me as the mantra of my life: Loves just like a magic penny. hold it close and you won’t have any. Lend it, spend it, and you’ll have so many, they’ll roll all over the floor, oh! Love is something if you give it away! Give away! Give it away! Oh! Love is something if you give it away, you’ll end up having more! There was an adorable choreography that went with the song and I had a rockin’ 80s mullet that I think you should be aware of to really appreciate the visual of this memory. I think you will find the song more helpful than the AI generated formula!
:) I love this song. And this is exactly why I ended the article the way I did :) We'd NEVER follow this forumla, never ever, for all the reasons you mentioned.
Do you know this song? Was it a thing outside of rural Nova Scotia? It’s a banger and lives in my head all the time!!
Wow, this one is gold. Isn't is so interesting to see what AI can come up with? But also, 1000% yes to realizing that it will always be flawed because it is not human. I loved the contrast you played with in this piece. I agree wholeheartedly. I too have struggled with this. I actually just realized the other day that with most of my friends, I am the one who makes the plans. I'm usually the one that reaches out first, that asks to hang out, that offers up suggestions. I found myself wishing that someone would reach out to me first. That someone else would make a plan and ask me to join them. I love my close friends dearly, and I know they love spending time with me, but it does sting some days when I have to always be the one to seek out connection. I wonder how long I would go without hanging out with friends if I stopped reaching out? Who would notice my retreat? But then again, idk how to stop reaching, how to stop caring, how to stop giving.
That's always been my biggest gripe with AI, it just completely lacks humanity, and always will. I imagine our future will be one where AI takes over jobs (in a huge %) that don't require that humanity, but I am so hopeful that all other things that DO require it, stay. Here's hoping.