Nothing to do with this particular post, but I just want to say thanks for the song of the day. I’m now loving Petey USA after you shared Goodnight Nurse a few weeks back. I don’t think I would have ever heard of him if you didn’t share it 💛
True story. Last week ended sadly with some angry words. My friend was upset with the apparent result of actions he took, based on my advice he had requested. He went on to bitterly criticize my character. But I did not reply. Yes, it hurt to hear what he said. But I waited. Then he found the results were actually turned out the opposite. He was happy with the results but obviously felt bad about his initial reaction and feared he had damaged our relationship. “No”, I said. “I have been around long enough to understand that your words reflected how hurt you felt, but not that you wished to hurt me. I hope I am much stronger than that. Only I can hurt myself.” If you were to ask me what my most hidden talent was, I would say, ‘getting in my own way or always learning another way to humble myself’. Yes, we all seek and celebrate our victories. But there is a power in setbacks that’s transformative, motivating us to do more, be better, set new goals, even if we start at zero the next day. I will not forget that starting out my adult life, with all that knowledge in my head, I had little or no experience and even less material possessions. Whatever I could fit in my backpack. Most of what I had was potential and a semi healthy body. But I have found the challenges we face are not supposed to mean we are not worthy, or defective, nor destined to failure. They are there to show we are resilient, redemptive, and engineered for learning, improvement, and change. There is not one, but a thousand TikTok movements that have gotten us to where we think we are right now. And then even more to come, as we age and have to learn how to manage the life we have left. Life’s challenges never end. It does take time, opportunity, and sacrifice to learn how to make it through this life. Along the way, one can embrace the world we are in, not just as troubled, or failed, but like a blank canvas; waiting for our touch, our ideas, our creative improvements. My writing may sometimes be pedantic, misdirected, or exhaustive; my questions seem critical, but I am eternally curious and positive about our ability to learn from the past and shape our future. There is always hope and inspiration in our actions to improve.
Wow Kevin. The wisdom we're so lucky to receive from you will never stop astonishing me. This is an insanely gorgeous testament to a life well lived, and the mentality that you have cultivated. THANK you for this.
I've got piles and piles of shit, I wouldn't even know where to start.
However, I will leave this with you. My husband, self-proclaimed.Athiest, just said as we listened to this on the way to my parents' house for a Sunday lunch something to the effect of this being the Sunday sermon we all need. And it got me thinking. My behind is usually in a church pew Sunday mornings more often than not, but this very much brings me the same feeling as hearing our minister deliver his weekly message; comforting, thought-provoking, and generally exactly what I needed to hear.
I know organized religion is a touchy subject, especially as of late, so I apologize if I offend with this comment.
Oh Karen, don't we all! I firmly believe we'll never know where to start, and that the where doesn't matter at all. Just that we do. This compliment means more to me than you know, and I never would have imagined hearing that anything I write feels like a sermon to someone. How beautiful. Thank you, truly.
I won't share the 'thing' ... the circumstance, but I will share, what to my surprise, the reaction has been and how no one [well, me and my therapist] believes my calm.
What it was shook my world and made me wince. It has infiltrated my relationship, and there are images I have not [will not?] been able to release from my inner being. It's been disruptive.
Until today. I will share my list on how this event has become an awakening and an inspiration to my daily life. How the shit that hit the fan became has become something beautiful.
Let's just say this was [is] something that most people would not recover from or forgive. [My therapist has been befuddled, thinking I should've ended the relationship.] It hurt, and I still have inklings of that hurt.
But it made me remarkably and surprisingly stronger.
I chose to understand and forgive this event. [It's not what you think it might have been.] The understanding of it is vital. The circumstances of how it happened. I choose to see it from a place of love, and in that love, I have [mostly] been able to forgive.
This has led me to how I manage my emotions with the public I work with. How I let things go that are aimed at me, but are not mine to consume. It has made me so much stronger in knowing who I am and where my breaking point is ... or could be.
I chose to accept this event with an open heart and open mind, rather than dismiss it in anger and fear. I faced that fear and have been able to SEE it for what it is. A fear so much bigger than the incident in and of itself.
I am more assertive. Strong. and capable of loving what is, and now ... I believe I can let go of images that do not serve.
Thanks for this, Tyler. I am sighing. All my love to all you love.
I like what you said about becoming stronger by knowing what your breaking point is or could be. You seem to have “come out on the other side” in a positive way from this negative experience.
I am so sorry for the world shaking, for the wincing. I Love hearing that the things you have endured have led to strength, what a beautiful thing. You're like Rumplestiltskin but you make strength out of trauma instead of gold from straw. Stunning.
Coincidentally, I just finished the book, The Power of Regret. One message in the book is about the redemptive possibilities of regret- if we don’t let them define us and if we learn from them. I have so many regrets, big and small, ones that only matter are in my mind, and I cannot seem to let go of them . I think the exercise of writing them down as you suggest and reflecting on them in a more positive light may be helpful.
I love this, and I am so sorry you're burdened by them. I hope all my hopes relief comes and you no longer feel so heavy by them. WHATEVER it takes to purge them, I'll help you do :)
Nothing to do with this particular post, but I just want to say thanks for the song of the day. I’m now loving Petey USA after you shared Goodnight Nurse a few weeks back. I don’t think I would have ever heard of him if you didn’t share it 💛
AHH!! YAY! I love that someone else is enjoying it too!
True story. Last week ended sadly with some angry words. My friend was upset with the apparent result of actions he took, based on my advice he had requested. He went on to bitterly criticize my character. But I did not reply. Yes, it hurt to hear what he said. But I waited. Then he found the results were actually turned out the opposite. He was happy with the results but obviously felt bad about his initial reaction and feared he had damaged our relationship. “No”, I said. “I have been around long enough to understand that your words reflected how hurt you felt, but not that you wished to hurt me. I hope I am much stronger than that. Only I can hurt myself.” If you were to ask me what my most hidden talent was, I would say, ‘getting in my own way or always learning another way to humble myself’. Yes, we all seek and celebrate our victories. But there is a power in setbacks that’s transformative, motivating us to do more, be better, set new goals, even if we start at zero the next day. I will not forget that starting out my adult life, with all that knowledge in my head, I had little or no experience and even less material possessions. Whatever I could fit in my backpack. Most of what I had was potential and a semi healthy body. But I have found the challenges we face are not supposed to mean we are not worthy, or defective, nor destined to failure. They are there to show we are resilient, redemptive, and engineered for learning, improvement, and change. There is not one, but a thousand TikTok movements that have gotten us to where we think we are right now. And then even more to come, as we age and have to learn how to manage the life we have left. Life’s challenges never end. It does take time, opportunity, and sacrifice to learn how to make it through this life. Along the way, one can embrace the world we are in, not just as troubled, or failed, but like a blank canvas; waiting for our touch, our ideas, our creative improvements. My writing may sometimes be pedantic, misdirected, or exhaustive; my questions seem critical, but I am eternally curious and positive about our ability to learn from the past and shape our future. There is always hope and inspiration in our actions to improve.
"Only I can hurt myself."
You, my dear, get a huge, long hug. Wow. Thank you for this, and what a relief!
YES.
Wow Kevin. The wisdom we're so lucky to receive from you will never stop astonishing me. This is an insanely gorgeous testament to a life well lived, and the mentality that you have cultivated. THANK you for this.
Love this!
Thank you!!
I've got piles and piles of shit, I wouldn't even know where to start.
However, I will leave this with you. My husband, self-proclaimed.Athiest, just said as we listened to this on the way to my parents' house for a Sunday lunch something to the effect of this being the Sunday sermon we all need. And it got me thinking. My behind is usually in a church pew Sunday mornings more often than not, but this very much brings me the same feeling as hearing our minister deliver his weekly message; comforting, thought-provoking, and generally exactly what I needed to hear.
I know organized religion is a touchy subject, especially as of late, so I apologize if I offend with this comment.
Oh Karen, don't we all! I firmly believe we'll never know where to start, and that the where doesn't matter at all. Just that we do. This compliment means more to me than you know, and I never would have imagined hearing that anything I write feels like a sermon to someone. How beautiful. Thank you, truly.
I won't share the 'thing' ... the circumstance, but I will share, what to my surprise, the reaction has been and how no one [well, me and my therapist] believes my calm.
What it was shook my world and made me wince. It has infiltrated my relationship, and there are images I have not [will not?] been able to release from my inner being. It's been disruptive.
Until today. I will share my list on how this event has become an awakening and an inspiration to my daily life. How the shit that hit the fan became has become something beautiful.
Let's just say this was [is] something that most people would not recover from or forgive. [My therapist has been befuddled, thinking I should've ended the relationship.] It hurt, and I still have inklings of that hurt.
But it made me remarkably and surprisingly stronger.
I chose to understand and forgive this event. [It's not what you think it might have been.] The understanding of it is vital. The circumstances of how it happened. I choose to see it from a place of love, and in that love, I have [mostly] been able to forgive.
This has led me to how I manage my emotions with the public I work with. How I let things go that are aimed at me, but are not mine to consume. It has made me so much stronger in knowing who I am and where my breaking point is ... or could be.
I chose to accept this event with an open heart and open mind, rather than dismiss it in anger and fear. I faced that fear and have been able to SEE it for what it is. A fear so much bigger than the incident in and of itself.
I am more assertive. Strong. and capable of loving what is, and now ... I believe I can let go of images that do not serve.
Thanks for this, Tyler. I am sighing. All my love to all you love.
I like what you said about becoming stronger by knowing what your breaking point is or could be. You seem to have “come out on the other side” in a positive way from this negative experience.
I am so sorry for the world shaking, for the wincing. I Love hearing that the things you have endured have led to strength, what a beautiful thing. You're like Rumplestiltskin but you make strength out of trauma instead of gold from straw. Stunning.
thank you
Coincidentally, I just finished the book, The Power of Regret. One message in the book is about the redemptive possibilities of regret- if we don’t let them define us and if we learn from them. I have so many regrets, big and small, ones that only matter are in my mind, and I cannot seem to let go of them . I think the exercise of writing them down as you suggest and reflecting on them in a more positive light may be helpful.
I love this, and I am so sorry you're burdened by them. I hope all my hopes relief comes and you no longer feel so heavy by them. WHATEVER it takes to purge them, I'll help you do :)