The Sunday Edition
Couldn’t agree more Tyler! One of my measures is how many people I can make laugh. I’m definitely not trying to post things on social media for laughter. Just life in general..there have been some people that are doozies to get to open up and laugh with me. It’s so worth it tho!
Your list of metrics is spot on and the one that resonates most with me is "Moments that take your breath away". I am consistently awed by so many moments in life and I cherish all of them. My latest effort is to speak that awe out loud- to be thankful in the moment that I am having this experience. This practice had had a profound impact for me and I hope others might start doing it as well.
Tyler, I am completely and utterly in love with this metrics list.
For me, I would add Acquiring Knowledge For The Souls Sake. I’m talking about that which tickles your fancy and ends up feeding your soul. This could be new information about hobbies you love or entirely new subjects you have an innate desire to tackle. You take these on completely on your own with the intent of broadening your perspective. Knowledge for passions sake. One point for each new element learned, book read, with increasing points for levels of obscurity.
OK I really Love This One. I think Belly Laughs is my favorite. Then Honest Tears. I've been sitting here thinking, would I add anything to this list? It's pretty comprehensive. Maybe I would add Little Wins. I actually kept track of these the year after the pandemic. A mason jar and a stack of paper strips, I'd write one down and throw it in the jar, and then I read them on NY eve that year. Only you can define what a Little Win is. Maybe it's the moment you refrained from posting a judgy comment on a social media rant. Maybe it's the morning you allowed yourself to sleep in just because it felt delicious. The day you spent a little more time in conversation with your annoyingly chatty neighbor because they seemed lonely and you value being a good neighbor. Whatever your surrender to your "righting instinct" is, in the moment, is a Little Win.
I'm on board Tyler! I don't post on social media at all. I read it, watch it, follow it, especially yours because it has meaning to me, but I don't post. Too much pressure to live up to what others want and think of me. In fact, I only have Instagram. I got rid of all the others. I feel like if you are doing a good deed for the likes, it isn't a good deed at all because it isn't coming from the heart, but from the desire for accolades and attention.
Oooof, this one hit in a place today deep down inside. I went to the best drag show yesterday and I am still on that oh-so-confident, full of joy high I get from seeing really talented people share their passion with the world, acceptance, and love. This is what is most important, not the likes on IG or whatever the social media app of the moment is. I've always had a love/hate relationship with social media, literally from the very 1st time I created my MySpace age (but boy did I love MySpace!!!) so I can see it's usefulness and then I see the damage when not being used for good. But I too would challenge people to live life more for themselves, not for the likes and shares.
I add not because I have not words.
I will say as someone that used to track data points in several different careers - it annoyed the hell outta me because it was not at all a measure of success…and it sure doesn’t help win any humility awards 🏅
The love you share with us and the love that is shared within this community - that is an effective measure! ❤️
Love this list and it makes me feel like I'm a pretty good person! So thanks for that! I will add hugability! I am the Kim Kardashian of hug getters and givers! It makes me feel so darn great every day! Sometimes kids I don't even know in the grocery store just straight up hug me! #humblebrag
Social media is like a machete; it's a tool and it all depends on how you wield it! You can use it to tend your garden and harvest your crops or you can cut your darn hand off or worse use it against someone else. I have to use social media for my job everyday! It is the tool I have to show the work and inspire people to send the donations we need to keep our organization going! So I TiKToK and Gram and Facebook and chase the Zuckerbucks! One time I made a video of some dudes putting a full grown bull into a small boat and it got 1.8 million views. Guess what? Nothing changed! Means absolutely nothing in the big picture! So I am not really worried about going viral. But I do know that it is so important to so many people to get the exposure that is the metrics of our relevance in todays society! And so I am a chronic liker of all the things! I heart everything! And I try to shout out nice comments and messages to tell the people that I follow, whether I know them personally or not, that I appreciate them, and that I am proud of them! Because the sad reality is that this giant web of connection could bring us all so much more closer if we used it better and didn't judge ourselves so much in comparing ourselves to everyone else! People are so loose with the mean and snarkies, so I think it's important to also be gushingly nice to people to balance that all out a bit! I also like to leave an album on repeat on Spotify all night when I go to bed or when I go out of the house so that maybe that artist I appreciate so much will get an extra 50 cents eventually! Because, the system is broken and we need to do everything in our power to balance it out when we can!
On a final note, your Kindness Not Captured metric reminded me of one of my favourite quotes that has always stuck with me:
"Giving to others is like peeing your pants; whether or not someone sees you do it or not, doesn’t change the fact that you will feel its warmth, but it always feels that much better when no one knows you did it"
I love this so much. I stopped chasing fake internet points some time ago. They are the drug of our age, a high that gets harder and harder to chase. I don’t think I can live an authentic life if I post it on social media. I would add “stop and breathe and just be” because even intentional people such as myself can forget to do this. And it feels so good to just stop and breathe and just be, even if only for a few moments.
My soul is tired and the online world tires it more. I am curating what I want to see and avoiding the rest. I don’t even want to share my writing online, I don’t want it tainted by the tiresome treadmill of scrolling, comments, likes, ect. Instead I save it for a live audience. For moments where I know the humans are gleaming something from it or at least giving it their attention. It’s hard to be different in this modern world, but I just don’t care anymore. I am working to live life in real time, and reflect and write about the moments that take my breath away and the moments that fill my cup. And I send love to everyone, because everywhere and everyone needs more love.
This is spot on. The moments we should measure our life by are the ones that touch us, that find us vulnerable, that connect us in real life in a lightning flash to the heart. You will know each other when you meet. I love that. My most recent "take your breath away" moment was just a walk on the farm I live on. The colors of autumn, the intricate weaving of maple trees, cedars and hazel trees in the light from a waning sun, the dew glistening in the morning on the hundreds of spider webs like sparkling lace. My daughter reminded me that the moments that matter are now. These are also the moments we carry with us in our hearts. Thank you Tyler.
Spot on … and in the words is Captain Hook … “ GOOD FORM”
I got off FB and IG several months ago, and it has definitely helped my mental health. But, as you point out, I’m never going to get an agent or traditional publisher to touch me. It’s still worth it, though.
Reading this was like taking a deep breath of fresh air!
I'm a bit late to the party here (life be life'n) but I love all of these. The frenetic pace of social media has made us all forget the underlying thread of all of this lies in the John Wooden quote, "The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching." Social media has become about what you do when people ARE watching, and it's that attention-seeking narcissism that has poisoned our societies. If you haven't read the article Tyler shared today on moral grandstanding, it's worth the read.
YES, DAMMIT. YESSSS. I've been saying this a lot lately and in other threads. Every day I try to find the balance between social media and real life. If it weren't for my businesses, I may give it up altogether. But in this day and age, I feel obligated to at least have a decent presence online. Social media used to be fun...SOCIAL. Just a collection of goofy status updates and imperfect photos meant for your friends to view and that was it. Now capitalism and business have completely taken over and social media platforms have become all about making money and trying to rise to the top. It's absolutely positively NONSENSE, as you said. And yet we feel obligated. I could give two fucks what my engagement is on my personal account. That is just for my pleasure and my posts are few and far between. But I do feel that longing to have "successful" accounts for my businesses in hopes that it will lead to booking clients. Idk. The whole thing is backwards. I'd prefer if all my business came from referrals. Real live people recommending me to other real live people. So far, that's been my biggest source of clients, so I will continue to focus on relationships above all. At the end of the day, it's really just about balance. I'm actively trying to just post what I want, then let go of the outcome. Remind myself that my success as an entrepreneur does NOT have to be directly related to my success on social media. I could rant on about this topic for days. But yes, I agree wholeheartedly that we are measuring so much of life wrong and that in the age of the internet, we desperately need to get back to what truly matters.