I think the idea of blanket forgiveness will help me going forward. I've always held the "forgive but don't forget" belief and it hasn't helped me much. On a different note, I've had to start forgiving myself for mistakes I've made that brought me great sadness. Can you grant yourself blanket forgiveness? Thanks, love you guys!
To be 100% honest: Blanket forgiveness MUST start with yourself. I firmly believe we cannot truly forgive others, until we've released ourselves from any and all guilt we hold towards our own hearts. Start with you, call it the oxygen mask you require to breathe before you help others. Forgive.
Does saying, "I forgive you for being a bitch", [to an ex-boss who was trying to fire me before I left on my own ... to which she said Thank you' ... oops. Remembering.] Or something like [Oh, how can I phrase this more positively or humbly?] ... "I forgive the situation where you wanted me gone?" I mean, she was trying real hard to disillude me ... shoot ... breathing. I forgive the situation. Things turned out well, and I actually enjoyed the rest of my day thereafter.
To be honest, the first one calling her names feels more empowering ... lol.
So, off the top of my head ...
To the one who abused me ... I forgive you for not knowing any better. [he was ... 10?]
To my parents ... I forgive you for your guilt and silence under the circumstances. You did your best at the time.
This is tough! Those were the ones I mentioned previously ... There is so much more: little grievances that feel big and elicit a visceral response in my body ... it's a process, as you said. A practice. One moment at a time ... this is ongoing. But now it's a thing.
Truly letting go could remove inflammation from my body in a holistic, energetic sense ... and what a wonderful thing that would be.
I immediately saw the reversal-I forgive you for treating ME like a bitch. (But, in true me fashion, I would be THINKING don't ever underestimate me again!! Treat me like a bitch and bitch you will get? Not even my situation and I feel empowered! )
Gayle-you are an inspiration. Truly. SO...
I'd say to my parents-I forgive you for not knowing any better
To my abuser-I forgive you while your vision was clouded by alcohol
To my only blood brother-I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving. I forgive you for forgetting about me. I forgive you for the times you needed a scapegoat and I was always the easy target. I forgive you for deliberately trying to lead me away from the rest of my birth family before dad died so I would feel alienated at the funeral. I forgive you for the names you called me. I forgive you for manipulating my children into "safety" in a relationship with their uncle so you could try to get info on me.
I forgive you for not being the man that you once were.
WOAH. Sorry I just took over your comment....I just thought it was so brave, so the spirit moved me, as they say...
If I could empty that backpack, I would feel like I could fly! There are minuscule moments now that I sense this freedom and peace. I work towards this every day, letting go. But so hard! It takes time to create distance. A few years ago, a friend and I became estranged although she would not discuss it and pretended otherwise. This hurt more than anything, that she would not speak of what bothered her so much that she was willing to end a friendship of many years. I struggled to understand, to deal with the hurt and even anger. In time, however, think I slowly stopped thinking and feeling about it. Maybe like Sarah says about being in the present; my present no longer included thoughts or feelings regarding our broken friendship.
I need to sit with this blanket forgiveness idea because as other people have stated, so far what I've been doing hasn't worked as well for me and I had hoped. But I am willing to try anything and everything!
And, YES SARAH! Do it! Love the idea of an additional side substack focusing on empty nesting. I wish that had been around when I was going through it. All our kids have moved out and on (only one comes over for a weekend overnight stay about once a month).
And thank you Tyler for posting the replay of the first live because I have a volunteer event that night. But I will catch all the other ones live whenever I can!!
Forgiveness and truly letting go?
That is true freedom.
The truest kind.
I think the idea of blanket forgiveness will help me going forward. I've always held the "forgive but don't forget" belief and it hasn't helped me much. On a different note, I've had to start forgiving myself for mistakes I've made that brought me great sadness. Can you grant yourself blanket forgiveness? Thanks, love you guys!
To be 100% honest: Blanket forgiveness MUST start with yourself. I firmly believe we cannot truly forgive others, until we've released ourselves from any and all guilt we hold towards our own hearts. Start with you, call it the oxygen mask you require to breathe before you help others. Forgive.
Well said. And... love thy neighbour as thyself ... Things always start with the Self.
As I always say-Make sure your OWN oxygen mask is on before helping others.
Does saying, "I forgive you for being a bitch", [to an ex-boss who was trying to fire me before I left on my own ... to which she said Thank you' ... oops. Remembering.] Or something like [Oh, how can I phrase this more positively or humbly?] ... "I forgive the situation where you wanted me gone?" I mean, she was trying real hard to disillude me ... shoot ... breathing. I forgive the situation. Things turned out well, and I actually enjoyed the rest of my day thereafter.
To be honest, the first one calling her names feels more empowering ... lol.
So, off the top of my head ...
To the one who abused me ... I forgive you for not knowing any better. [he was ... 10?]
To my parents ... I forgive you for your guilt and silence under the circumstances. You did your best at the time.
This is tough! Those were the ones I mentioned previously ... There is so much more: little grievances that feel big and elicit a visceral response in my body ... it's a process, as you said. A practice. One moment at a time ... this is ongoing. But now it's a thing.
Truly letting go could remove inflammation from my body in a holistic, energetic sense ... and what a wonderful thing that would be.
This is a courageously honest response.
I immediately saw the reversal-I forgive you for treating ME like a bitch. (But, in true me fashion, I would be THINKING don't ever underestimate me again!! Treat me like a bitch and bitch you will get? Not even my situation and I feel empowered! )
Gayle-you are an inspiration. Truly. SO...
I'd say to my parents-I forgive you for not knowing any better
To my abuser-I forgive you while your vision was clouded by alcohol
To my only blood brother-I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving. I forgive you for forgetting about me. I forgive you for the times you needed a scapegoat and I was always the easy target. I forgive you for deliberately trying to lead me away from the rest of my birth family before dad died so I would feel alienated at the funeral. I forgive you for the names you called me. I forgive you for manipulating my children into "safety" in a relationship with their uncle so you could try to get info on me.
I forgive you for not being the man that you once were.
WOAH. Sorry I just took over your comment....I just thought it was so brave, so the spirit moved me, as they say...
Bravo! You have inspired me even more ... I can now forgive my brothers for calling me their stupid little sister.
And, funnily enough, that boss was trying to make me >her< bitch, which turned me into a bitch as you point out. So glad I left when I did.
Big Hugs, Samantha!!
Thank you for sharing your hurts with us all. ♥️
If I could empty that backpack, I would feel like I could fly! There are minuscule moments now that I sense this freedom and peace. I work towards this every day, letting go. But so hard! It takes time to create distance. A few years ago, a friend and I became estranged although she would not discuss it and pretended otherwise. This hurt more than anything, that she would not speak of what bothered her so much that she was willing to end a friendship of many years. I struggled to understand, to deal with the hurt and even anger. In time, however, think I slowly stopped thinking and feeling about it. Maybe like Sarah says about being in the present; my present no longer included thoughts or feelings regarding our broken friendship.
You can. You will. We'll help. I promise.
You two are so freaking cute. But we forgive you for that. (See what I did there?)
Hahaha, I love you.
Me being late to the party as usual and watching this a week late only to be like "Oh shit, that's TONIGHT!" 😂 But I will be there!!!
Thank you so much for being there!
I need to sit with this blanket forgiveness idea because as other people have stated, so far what I've been doing hasn't worked as well for me and I had hoped. But I am willing to try anything and everything!
And, YES SARAH! Do it! Love the idea of an additional side substack focusing on empty nesting. I wish that had been around when I was going through it. All our kids have moved out and on (only one comes over for a weekend overnight stay about once a month).
And thank you Tyler for posting the replay of the first live because I have a volunteer event that night. But I will catch all the other ones live whenever I can!!
Sitting with it is entirely, 100% acceptable. :) AND I WILL RELAY THIS TO SARAH! As for the replay of the Live, I'm ON IT!