I think, if you are a “responsible kid”, you never really have to grow up. Especially when it comes to travel, adventure, exploring, and learning. Why stop being a “kid”? I’ve lost a parent, been through a divorce, remarried, had a child, was a caregiver to a disabled adult for 9 years, lost a mother-in-law who was like a mother, then lost my husband and became a widow and am now the mother of an almost 19-year-old … but when it comes to most things, at the young age of 47, I still feel like a kid. There are so many things I want to see and do. So many things I want to experience and discover. I truly don’t feel like an adult when I get giddy over some grand adventure, like taking myself to the movies or going to a book convention for the first time ever. I especially get giddy when telling people about my “boyfriend”. I like pretending to be an adult and going on dates. I can surely act like an adult when I need to, but I really don’t feel like one all the time and that is okay! My life is in order, I have a good job, stay out of debt and am putting my son through college. Do I really need to be a real adult when everything is just fine as it is? I never want to lose that sense of child-like wonder and adventure!
Yes! ! I don’t know why. Just ‘young at heart’? It’s when I hear other women talk- I feel somehow that I lack the life experience or outlook that they have and yet I am 57, have raised two kids, am becoming increasingly responsible for my aging parents. Maybe I am just not interested in the same, “adult” things.
I loved this one…. For me, I think that I am temporarily an adult when responsibilities in life in general… are mine…..how I choose to handle those Responsibilitiies???… well sometimes with my child like heart and sometimes with my common sense adult brain! I don’t think we have to “Transfer” over… adulthood is just another part of who we are ….. just like childhood is a part. I will never transfer over, I will remain in my childhood forever in one way or another🥰🥰
Well Tyler, According to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy the answer is “42”.
(don’t forget your towel!)
As you and others may know, I crossed the plane of 50 in February.
When I look at my responsibilities of work and bills and kids aged 21, 23, 27 - I feel very adult.
But I rarely act like it.
“I may get older but I refuse to grow up” is a mantra of mine.
I love hanging with and learning from those younger than I. I find it funny when they come to me and “seek advice”. Who am I to give you advice - I’m still trying to figure this ish out myself.
There's a brazillian meme originated in a tweet that said, in free translation: "what the hell am i doing here, i'm only 6 years old?!?!"
and despite being 32, I still feel exactly like that.
losing my dad and realizing I have no support system within my family made me see an adult when I look in the mirror. still, whenever I'm doing anything adult-like i'm stuck in the constant "what the hell am i doing here, i'm only 6 years old?!?!"
OMG Tyler, can I please tell you how happy I am to hear that I am not the ONLY one that feels this way?? I just turned 55 on the 21st, and still feel like everyone is more adult than I am. I often think of my parents at my age and think how vastly different they were at my age, and how I simply can't comprehend how they were so much more adult than I am. I am constantly looking up to others, much younger than myself, legitimately young enough to be my kids, as more adult than myself. I look to them for advice and assistance. I can't explain it. I wish I could. It's an odd phenomenon for sure, especially for someone that is often told has an old soul, and is very wise. How confusing is that, especially for this kid, stuck in an old lady's body. But there are also those times that I can look at a situation and say, "back in my day...", and some reality sinks in. Those moments are fewer and further apart. Time is a fickle thing. Maybe it is because it is just so much easier to leave it to others to be the adults and make the big decisions. Meanwhile, we can sit back and let them cut up our food into bite sized pieces, and just relax and enjoy.
I pretend to be grown up in the situations when and where it is needed. I'm getting Medicare notices already as I am 65 next year. Old enough for Social Security [but not old enough to retire] And when the frell did THAT happen?
I remember sitting in the ER with my husband waiting for him to be seen. [Being very grown up taking care of him and asking tons of questions ... lol. Forever the why and what child] ... I noticed how I was sitting, with a hoodie and leggings on, slouched in the seat, legs open and ready to fall off my chair. I looked like a bored child. Everyone else was all upright and 'proper'. But I didn't change how I sat. I just smiled at myself.
I think we are 'grown up', or mature rather, when we need to be ... but like I mentioned, it's all pretense for me.
I mean seriously, I have battling food toys glued in my fridge because I wanted the inside of my fridge to look like Pee Wee Herman's in his playhouse. I just covered my laptop with Emily the Strange stickers. I have stuffed animal friends all over the house with a weasel [stuffed] that has been given a personality. He talks, for crying out loud!
Age is what we make it. There are those who were adults as children and then there are the adults who 'feel', let alone possibly act, like children. And what of it. As Sheryl Crow sang, "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad."
Stay young, my friend. I'm sure it's one of the things that Sarah loves so much about you. ... Peace.
Tyler, this was wonderful! I find it's a strange juxtaposition of maturity and childlike wonder. Most of the time, I feel young and carefree, until the precise moments when I realize I'm the one that has to be the adult. I could say there was a line I'd crossed when my son was born (10 days shy of my 36th birthday), but I actually became more playful in the wake of his birth and in direct response to him, although I had more responsibilities. I could say it was when my dad died 3 years ago and the full gravity of no longer having a parent to reach out to for guidance, made the realization that I'm now the family matriarch so much more real. But, until there are responsibilities to handle, and I do handle them, I want to maintain my childlike wonder, playfulness, and joy as my baseline. I believe the two coexist, although I definitely have those moments when I'd like to defer my responsibilities just because...
I’m 46, with a masters degree and years and years of experience in my field and life….i say that all to say most days, I’m amazed that people listen to me. Like am I the official adult now cause I still say fuck ALOT and I still laugh at stupid and dirty jokes. I have moments where I go out with friends and act like we are 21 again and behave just as stupid lol I mean I got grown kids!!! How do I still not feel grown! Maybe it was how I spent my childhood. I had to take on adult responsibilities at 10. Maybe that is what has made me have this adult childhood. Like a second go round but with money to actually have fun 🤣🤣 I don’t know. I think about people who always said once you stop playing you grow old so maybe that’s the answer. Don’t stop playing and really why should we. We only get a finite amount of time on this rock.
Oh I’m a full on boss lady with an overwhelming amount of responsibilities but I have the sense of humour of a 12 year old boy and a tickle trunk full of dress up clothes and wigs just in case the occasion arises to put on a costume! I was looking through old pictures and came across one of my mom at my age and it was so weird that she seems way more like a grown up in that picture than I feel right now! I suppose she would feel the same if she saw a picture of her mother at the age she is now!
Keeping that magic in your life and the sparkle in your eye and LOVE in your heart despite all the things the world throws at you to make us resentful and bitter is the key! Because it’s super easy to see all the crap out there and just let it consume you until you’re a full on “Karen” (sorry to anyone named Karen reading this).
Sure, I have a knee that basically just always hurts, but I still dance with it everyday!
Alas, I am behind on reading these newsletters, but I am finally sitting down today to catch up on all the things. It feels like a treat to always have your emails waiting for me in my inbox.
I love the way you explore this idea and I agree 100%. I still feel like a wandering teenager most days. Was just writing a poem the other day about how I want to keep living with the magic of my teenage heart. I would imagine that having kids or losing a parent would definitely cause a major shift internally. I have not reached either of these points in my life, so I still feel very very young. I think there is something deeply freeing though about being able to just live how you feel rather than worrying about an age "number." We can have the energy, the spirit of whatever age we want. It is a beautiful way to live. It makes life interesting. It keep you curious, able to wonder and dream. My late grandfather was a child at heart until he left this earth. Even as an old man at his assisted living facility he would slide down stair bannisters and skip down the halls singing and dancing like a child. (We certainly had to watch him like a child! 😂) He was always so full of joy and wonder and it was contagious. I love that he lived that way.
I appear to "adult" well from the outside by the way I carry myself and handle my responsibilities. But I definitely feel like a teenager at heart most days. I just turned 30 and there's all these big milestones coming up in the next decade and I hardly feel ready for any of them. When I was young I thought I'd have so much figured out by now. But I still feel mostly the same as I did when I was young! It's definitely hard to comprehend that so much time has passed.
I think, if you are a “responsible kid”, you never really have to grow up. Especially when it comes to travel, adventure, exploring, and learning. Why stop being a “kid”? I’ve lost a parent, been through a divorce, remarried, had a child, was a caregiver to a disabled adult for 9 years, lost a mother-in-law who was like a mother, then lost my husband and became a widow and am now the mother of an almost 19-year-old … but when it comes to most things, at the young age of 47, I still feel like a kid. There are so many things I want to see and do. So many things I want to experience and discover. I truly don’t feel like an adult when I get giddy over some grand adventure, like taking myself to the movies or going to a book convention for the first time ever. I especially get giddy when telling people about my “boyfriend”. I like pretending to be an adult and going on dates. I can surely act like an adult when I need to, but I really don’t feel like one all the time and that is okay! My life is in order, I have a good job, stay out of debt and am putting my son through college. Do I really need to be a real adult when everything is just fine as it is? I never want to lose that sense of child-like wonder and adventure!
Yes! ! I don’t know why. Just ‘young at heart’? It’s when I hear other women talk- I feel somehow that I lack the life experience or outlook that they have and yet I am 57, have raised two kids, am becoming increasingly responsible for my aging parents. Maybe I am just not interested in the same, “adult” things.
I loved this one…. For me, I think that I am temporarily an adult when responsibilities in life in general… are mine…..how I choose to handle those Responsibilitiies???… well sometimes with my child like heart and sometimes with my common sense adult brain! I don’t think we have to “Transfer” over… adulthood is just another part of who we are ….. just like childhood is a part. I will never transfer over, I will remain in my childhood forever in one way or another🥰🥰
Well Tyler, According to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy the answer is “42”.
(don’t forget your towel!)
As you and others may know, I crossed the plane of 50 in February.
When I look at my responsibilities of work and bills and kids aged 21, 23, 27 - I feel very adult.
But I rarely act like it.
“I may get older but I refuse to grow up” is a mantra of mine.
I love hanging with and learning from those younger than I. I find it funny when they come to me and “seek advice”. Who am I to give you advice - I’m still trying to figure this ish out myself.
So I guess the answer is 42 but nah
There's a brazillian meme originated in a tweet that said, in free translation: "what the hell am i doing here, i'm only 6 years old?!?!"
and despite being 32, I still feel exactly like that.
losing my dad and realizing I have no support system within my family made me see an adult when I look in the mirror. still, whenever I'm doing anything adult-like i'm stuck in the constant "what the hell am i doing here, i'm only 6 years old?!?!"
OMG Tyler, can I please tell you how happy I am to hear that I am not the ONLY one that feels this way?? I just turned 55 on the 21st, and still feel like everyone is more adult than I am. I often think of my parents at my age and think how vastly different they were at my age, and how I simply can't comprehend how they were so much more adult than I am. I am constantly looking up to others, much younger than myself, legitimately young enough to be my kids, as more adult than myself. I look to them for advice and assistance. I can't explain it. I wish I could. It's an odd phenomenon for sure, especially for someone that is often told has an old soul, and is very wise. How confusing is that, especially for this kid, stuck in an old lady's body. But there are also those times that I can look at a situation and say, "back in my day...", and some reality sinks in. Those moments are fewer and further apart. Time is a fickle thing. Maybe it is because it is just so much easier to leave it to others to be the adults and make the big decisions. Meanwhile, we can sit back and let them cut up our food into bite sized pieces, and just relax and enjoy.
Alanis says, "... I'm green but I'm wise .."
I pretend to be grown up in the situations when and where it is needed. I'm getting Medicare notices already as I am 65 next year. Old enough for Social Security [but not old enough to retire] And when the frell did THAT happen?
I remember sitting in the ER with my husband waiting for him to be seen. [Being very grown up taking care of him and asking tons of questions ... lol. Forever the why and what child] ... I noticed how I was sitting, with a hoodie and leggings on, slouched in the seat, legs open and ready to fall off my chair. I looked like a bored child. Everyone else was all upright and 'proper'. But I didn't change how I sat. I just smiled at myself.
I think we are 'grown up', or mature rather, when we need to be ... but like I mentioned, it's all pretense for me.
I mean seriously, I have battling food toys glued in my fridge because I wanted the inside of my fridge to look like Pee Wee Herman's in his playhouse. I just covered my laptop with Emily the Strange stickers. I have stuffed animal friends all over the house with a weasel [stuffed] that has been given a personality. He talks, for crying out loud!
Age is what we make it. There are those who were adults as children and then there are the adults who 'feel', let alone possibly act, like children. And what of it. As Sheryl Crow sang, "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad."
Stay young, my friend. I'm sure it's one of the things that Sarah loves so much about you. ... Peace.
All I can say is that I felt way more adult at 17 and 27 than I do now in my 30s. I don't believe in linear time and logic so much either.
Tyler, this was wonderful! I find it's a strange juxtaposition of maturity and childlike wonder. Most of the time, I feel young and carefree, until the precise moments when I realize I'm the one that has to be the adult. I could say there was a line I'd crossed when my son was born (10 days shy of my 36th birthday), but I actually became more playful in the wake of his birth and in direct response to him, although I had more responsibilities. I could say it was when my dad died 3 years ago and the full gravity of no longer having a parent to reach out to for guidance, made the realization that I'm now the family matriarch so much more real. But, until there are responsibilities to handle, and I do handle them, I want to maintain my childlike wonder, playfulness, and joy as my baseline. I believe the two coexist, although I definitely have those moments when I'd like to defer my responsibilities just because...
I’m 46, with a masters degree and years and years of experience in my field and life….i say that all to say most days, I’m amazed that people listen to me. Like am I the official adult now cause I still say fuck ALOT and I still laugh at stupid and dirty jokes. I have moments where I go out with friends and act like we are 21 again and behave just as stupid lol I mean I got grown kids!!! How do I still not feel grown! Maybe it was how I spent my childhood. I had to take on adult responsibilities at 10. Maybe that is what has made me have this adult childhood. Like a second go round but with money to actually have fun 🤣🤣 I don’t know. I think about people who always said once you stop playing you grow old so maybe that’s the answer. Don’t stop playing and really why should we. We only get a finite amount of time on this rock.
Oh I’m a full on boss lady with an overwhelming amount of responsibilities but I have the sense of humour of a 12 year old boy and a tickle trunk full of dress up clothes and wigs just in case the occasion arises to put on a costume! I was looking through old pictures and came across one of my mom at my age and it was so weird that she seems way more like a grown up in that picture than I feel right now! I suppose she would feel the same if she saw a picture of her mother at the age she is now!
Keeping that magic in your life and the sparkle in your eye and LOVE in your heart despite all the things the world throws at you to make us resentful and bitter is the key! Because it’s super easy to see all the crap out there and just let it consume you until you’re a full on “Karen” (sorry to anyone named Karen reading this).
Sure, I have a knee that basically just always hurts, but I still dance with it everyday!
Alas, I am behind on reading these newsletters, but I am finally sitting down today to catch up on all the things. It feels like a treat to always have your emails waiting for me in my inbox.
I love the way you explore this idea and I agree 100%. I still feel like a wandering teenager most days. Was just writing a poem the other day about how I want to keep living with the magic of my teenage heart. I would imagine that having kids or losing a parent would definitely cause a major shift internally. I have not reached either of these points in my life, so I still feel very very young. I think there is something deeply freeing though about being able to just live how you feel rather than worrying about an age "number." We can have the energy, the spirit of whatever age we want. It is a beautiful way to live. It makes life interesting. It keep you curious, able to wonder and dream. My late grandfather was a child at heart until he left this earth. Even as an old man at his assisted living facility he would slide down stair bannisters and skip down the halls singing and dancing like a child. (We certainly had to watch him like a child! 😂) He was always so full of joy and wonder and it was contagious. I love that he lived that way.
I appear to "adult" well from the outside by the way I carry myself and handle my responsibilities. But I definitely feel like a teenager at heart most days. I just turned 30 and there's all these big milestones coming up in the next decade and I hardly feel ready for any of them. When I was young I thought I'd have so much figured out by now. But I still feel mostly the same as I did when I was young! It's definitely hard to comprehend that so much time has passed.