I’m gonna toot my own horn here for .02 seconds, something I rarely do…here goes: I really f’ing dig the line “acres of silence in me,” in the haiku below. That’s all. Now, onto business. Do you feel that over the years you’ve changed in fundamental ways? Do you feel like aspects of your personality that you thought set-in-stone when you were younger have altered, shifted, and transformed into something else? I thought of this today, thought of how often I would get into trouble as a child for being too “social” and chatting too much in all my classes. I was the Class Clown of my graduating class, the only guy to really get votes for it (A Monopoly Of The Clown…memoir anyone?!), and I was always talking to friends, neighbors, even the teachers during class. I couldn’t help myself, it was better than the noise of my own brain, the boredom I sometimes felt. I was known as someone who loved to chat, loved to talk, and when I look at myself now, it’s so much different. Now, I am the aforementioned ‘acres of silence’ and find myself speaking less and less as each year goes by. I have no interest in my own voice, and I find myself listening more than speaking, sitting in whatever pocket of silence I can find. I don’t know why this happened, nor do I fully understand when it began exactly, but it did, and it’s me now, and I love how we change and become new things.
I changed in many ways. I use to speak more as a child (although I was always introverted and shy). But I went through some form of spiritual awakening 4yrs ago that basically turned everything upside down. I was told that trauma cracked be "open" like an egg. I now see, hear, feel spirit etc. Didnt even get a choice in the matter. I was always different....now I'm very weird. I think I talk more to spirit these days. They dont have the ego thing going on. But also this ability has made it difficult for me to be myself around other people, because they tend to judge people that are different. So I keep to myself. I was never like that.
There is a famous profound observation by the wonderful Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, that speaks to today’s reflection: “Solitude is for me a fount of healing. Talking is often a torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words.”
I have this same need as well. As I see it, often an avalanche of words threatens to obscure the real meaning of thoughts. I loathe crowds, very loud noises, and people who chatter too much without essentially saying anything of substance. So, I have morphed into a contemplative who loves the sound of silence and needs some of it every day. I am not a recluse at all and am very gregarious and love people, but I need to balance talking with silence.
The well-known pianist, Arthur Rubenstein, was asked: “How do you handle the notes as well as you do?” And I loved his response. It was really immediate and passionate. He said, “I handle the notes no better than many others. But the pauses, ahh, that’s where the art resides.”
This is beautiful. And yes, there were things I was so certain of when I was younger, that have transformed now. I love how we evolve through the years and I enjoy the process, the journey, the discoveries along the way.
I think our life experiences can certainly redirect our path and change us, sometimes in profound ways. Once upon a time I may have looked at a situation where a woman in an abusive situation stayed and said "What is wrong with her? Why does she stay?" But I wasn't in her shoes, and I have no idea the many reasons or justifications she gave for not leaving, for tolerating the abuse at the hands (or voice) of another. After staying in an unhappy marriage for years too long, (now divorced nearly 3 years after 27 years of marriage) I have a better understanding. People stay because it's easier than leaving. Leaving is scary and a giant leap into the unknown. Staying with what you know is comfortable in some weird way. Now that I've been my own person, managing my own life and doing my own thing for a few years, I'm not the same person I was three or even five years ago. I'm no longer the tired, defensive person I once was. I've embraced what it means to be resilient, and I intend to live in the words of Maya Angelou: "My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
The years polish me and make me less susceptible to reactions - no more reaction to angry people, no more angry me. I crave peace, silence and few words. My words flow only on the page, but are hard-pressed to come forth between myself and others. I have no time for intolerance, judgment or war. I walk away, I choose peace, and silence.
The only way to cut deeper would be if introductions were knife fights. Hi. I’m new here. It’s my first time, and the subject is silence... and metamorphosis, because I’m actively avoiding another. What are the rules here? Should I risk engaging with an original thought, my own experience, or plagiarize a favorite in the midst of a screen full of writers? Let’s go with the latter, because I’ve never not been this:
I changed in many ways. I use to speak more as a child (although I was always introverted and shy). But I went through some form of spiritual awakening 4yrs ago that basically turned everything upside down. I was told that trauma cracked be "open" like an egg. I now see, hear, feel spirit etc. Didnt even get a choice in the matter. I was always different....now I'm very weird. I think I talk more to spirit these days. They dont have the ego thing going on. But also this ability has made it difficult for me to be myself around other people, because they tend to judge people that are different. So I keep to myself. I was never like that.
There is a famous profound observation by the wonderful Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, that speaks to today’s reflection: “Solitude is for me a fount of healing. Talking is often a torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words.”
I have this same need as well. As I see it, often an avalanche of words threatens to obscure the real meaning of thoughts. I loathe crowds, very loud noises, and people who chatter too much without essentially saying anything of substance. So, I have morphed into a contemplative who loves the sound of silence and needs some of it every day. I am not a recluse at all and am very gregarious and love people, but I need to balance talking with silence.
———
In Praise of Silence
———
silence becomes me —
at first it was not welcome
as it was imposed
now it’s a necessity
to rest in sacred silence
———
from loneliness grew
a need for contemplation —
I need some silence
no, not all day long, of course
just time for introspection
———
silence is golden,
we are taught by old sages
who have lived this truth —
once we espouse it as well
we’ll be completely enriched
———
The well-known pianist, Arthur Rubenstein, was asked: “How do you handle the notes as well as you do?” And I loved his response. It was really immediate and passionate. He said, “I handle the notes no better than many others. But the pauses, ahh, that’s where the art resides.”
And your poem comes to mind too....
pause this moment
and we can dance between the
seconds on the clock.
-Tyler Knott Gregson
This is beautiful. And yes, there were things I was so certain of when I was younger, that have transformed now. I love how we evolve through the years and I enjoy the process, the journey, the discoveries along the way.
I love this so much. Nothing more (or less) to say. This is perfect.
I think our life experiences can certainly redirect our path and change us, sometimes in profound ways. Once upon a time I may have looked at a situation where a woman in an abusive situation stayed and said "What is wrong with her? Why does she stay?" But I wasn't in her shoes, and I have no idea the many reasons or justifications she gave for not leaving, for tolerating the abuse at the hands (or voice) of another. After staying in an unhappy marriage for years too long, (now divorced nearly 3 years after 27 years of marriage) I have a better understanding. People stay because it's easier than leaving. Leaving is scary and a giant leap into the unknown. Staying with what you know is comfortable in some weird way. Now that I've been my own person, managing my own life and doing my own thing for a few years, I'm not the same person I was three or even five years ago. I'm no longer the tired, defensive person I once was. I've embraced what it means to be resilient, and I intend to live in the words of Maya Angelou: "My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
The years polish me and make me less susceptible to reactions - no more reaction to angry people, no more angry me. I crave peace, silence and few words. My words flow only on the page, but are hard-pressed to come forth between myself and others. I have no time for intolerance, judgment or war. I walk away, I choose peace, and silence.
The only way to cut deeper would be if introductions were knife fights. Hi. I’m new here. It’s my first time, and the subject is silence... and metamorphosis, because I’m actively avoiding another. What are the rules here? Should I risk engaging with an original thought, my own experience, or plagiarize a favorite in the midst of a screen full of writers? Let’s go with the latter, because I’ve never not been this:
Silence:
I’m learning
that I don’t always
have to make noise
to be seen,
that even my silence
has a spine, a rumble,
and says, I’m here
in its native tongue.
-Rudy Francisco