I’m gonna toot my own horn here for .02 seconds, something I rarely do…here goes: I really f’ing dig the line “acres of silence in me,” in the haiku below. That’s all. Now, onto business.
Do you feel that over the years you’ve changed in fundamental ways? Do you feel like aspects of your personality that you thought set-in-stone when you were younger have altered, shifted, and transformed into something else? I thought of this today, thought of how often I would get into trouble as a child for being too “social” and chatting too much in all my classes. I was the Class Clown of my graduating class, the only guy to really get votes for it (A Monopoly Of The Clown…memoir anyone?!), and I was always talking to friends, neighbors, even the teachers during class. I couldn’t help myself, it was better than the noise of my own brain, the boredom I sometimes felt. I was known as someone who loved to chat, loved to talk, and when I look at myself now, it’s so much different. Now, I am the aforementioned ‘acres of silence’ and find myself speaking less and less as each year goes by. I have no interest in my own voice, and I find myself listening more than speaking, sitting in whatever pocket of silence I can find. I don’t know why this happened, nor do I fully understand when it began exactly, but it did, and it’s me now, and I love how we change and become new things.
Now instead of filling the gaps with sound, I revel in them, and wait for those I love to fill them instead. I like this shift, I like the quiet acres inside.
Quiet like the night,
acres of silence in me,
waiting for your sound.
Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson
Song of the Day
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I changed in many ways. I use to speak more as a child (although I was always introverted and shy). But I went through some form of spiritual awakening 4yrs ago that basically turned everything upside down. I was told that trauma cracked be "open" like an egg. I now see, hear, feel spirit etc. Didnt even get a choice in the matter. I was always different....now I'm very weird. I think I talk more to spirit these days. They dont have the ego thing going on. But also this ability has made it difficult for me to be myself around other people, because they tend to judge people that are different. So I keep to myself. I was never like that.
There is a famous profound observation by the wonderful Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, that speaks to today’s reflection: “Solitude is for me a fount of healing. Talking is often a torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words.”
I have this same need as well. As I see it, often an avalanche of words threatens to obscure the real meaning of thoughts. I loathe crowds, very loud noises, and people who chatter too much without essentially saying anything of substance. So, I have morphed into a contemplative who loves the sound of silence and needs some of it every day. I am not a recluse at all and am very gregarious and love people, but I need to balance talking with silence.
In Praise of Silence
silence becomes me —
at first it was not welcome
as it was imposed
now it’s a necessity
to rest in sacred silence
from loneliness grew
a need for contemplation —
I need some silence
no, not all day long, of course
just time for introspection
silence is golden,
we are taught by old sages
who have lived this truth —
once we espouse it as well
we’ll be completely enriched