After All I Gave | 4.14.21

Enough to call it everything, that’s how I’d word it. Enough to say I was emptied out, refilled, and was emptied out again. I gave all I was, all I knew I would be, and I hoped secretly and silently it would be enough. I poured it into you, I saturated you with every drop of my care, my patience, my love; some saw it, some did not. Some saw me, this strange man with stranger quirks, as a lead weight tied to the ankle of you, saw you dragging me to the riverbanks, flirting with the current. Some saw me as a passing phase, a proximity infatuation that would fall swifter than it rose, some saw me as the disruptor of all things, the black hole that would pull your life in. Some, saw me as the lighthouse to the storm shaken ship of you. Some saw me as the home you’d been searching for all your life. Some still don’t see, still don’t understand after all these years, all these words, all these times proving myself. This is ok. I know what I am to you, I know you know, and this is enough. We cannot convince others of our worth, we cannot make them see the light of our own souls, we just have to keep shining, knowing that as long as those we love are bathed in shine, all the rest is shadows anyway.

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