TKG, you sound weary & wary. I hope you have time to take stock of the magic & mischief & wonder of it all - in between planning for next year, and all the whosits & whatsits that are not right now.
I hope that the stars continue to pull at your hair, and that the fear of shallow living that we share means that the mermaid pod you created here will help refill your cup. (Ah, Anais Nin. What a gift.)
Love to you & Lady G & the extraordinary humans in your life
“I understand the importance of knowing your ‘Companions’ and your ‘Competition’ but have you ever thought that maybe the ‘COMPARISON’ between is getting tangled in the sails and blowing our lil ship here and there amongst the waves?”
Sometimes we just sail so much smoother when we are who we are and who we were made to be - not who “they” are or what we think “they” want us to be. (Fill in the blank to who your “they” might be).
I ended this one with a hand over my aching heart. You have no idea how much I needed this message. Lately I feel like 43 years old is an odd and unexpected tipping point between being young and vibrant and older and (just speaking for myself) not as relevant or lovely and I find myself questioning more the choices I would have quickly made because they felt joyful wondering if it’s maybe too youthful for this age. The Ted Lasso Believe sticker on the back of my phone case and the bright yellow crocs with a variety of fun jibbitz which make me smile every time with their joyful colour and playfulness? A hesitation now and a feeling that I need to be something different because I’m getting older. Reading this I feel like my unique song - the choices that make me joyful are the right one. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I love this! THANK YOU!! My kids grew up in the 80s and 90s before all this device-delivered madness invaded our homes. I work in early intervention (helping families with infants and toddlers who have developmental delays) and commonly see 2 year olds expertly navigating on their parents phone. Sigh. Thank you for the reminder of the preciousness of our uniqueness.
I loved this one today (I probably say that after listening each week). I grew up in the 70’s, long before social media, and there was lots of pressure to fit in. We didn’t call it bullying back then but I was a bit of a weird kid who dressed differently and I was reminded of this every day until I went to a large inner city high school in the 80’s where it was actually cool to be an individual. Still, I struggled for years with how I saw myself - perhaps distracted by TV, movies and advertising (our equivalent of today’s social media?). Somehow, I ended up with two children who have the confidence to be who they are, despite the typical addiction to their phones. As a I age and care far, far less about what other people think, only now am I able to truly listen for and sing my own song. I think if we could all learn to do that- and accept the songs of others- we would not be (so) broken.
Tyler, I love the photo you shared My daughter just became engaged on the Oregon Coast! Ok back to point, it is tiring to deal with comparisons, and to ground yourself in the midst of all the noise. Yet taking two minutes to just stop and be still has been the best way to deal with panic and anxiety and ...all the other ticks in my personality. You are a true light, and thanks for this post. Love it.
The sense of comparing our lives to others and wanting what they have and to somehow fit a mold isn't confined to teenagers. My mom has been trying to force our fracturing family (me, my kids and grandkids) to be like her friend's family - all inclusive and everyone goes to everyone's events, shared vacations, etc. That's not us - never will be - for myriad reasons. She doesn't understand why people can go no contact with family, saying that sometimes people leave this world unexpectedly, leaving things unsaid. We, the people of this planet, need to focus on living our own best lives, finding our own path that leads to our happiness. Life is too short to be based on what others might think.
I spent 29 years living life for my parents and a terrible ex. Thought I was too far into to change and find myself. One day I had enough, and just started a new life. It’s been the hardest thing. I am realizing more and more how many people have given up on their dreams. I think back to school and can only remember our individuality being stripped away as we were all encouraged to conform and fit into friend groups. We need more people in this world being radically authentic and showing others it’s ok to be. That it’s not too late to be who we truly are!
I always love a music analogy. Thank you for this. I feel like I'm always pushing against what's trendy or popular. The older I get, the more I march to my own beat and reject anything that doesn't feel like me. I am perfectly happy in my rhythm.
Compare Not Your Heart | 8.6.23
Wow. Just...wow. 💜 🎻
TKG, you sound weary & wary. I hope you have time to take stock of the magic & mischief & wonder of it all - in between planning for next year, and all the whosits & whatsits that are not right now.
I hope that the stars continue to pull at your hair, and that the fear of shallow living that we share means that the mermaid pod you created here will help refill your cup. (Ah, Anais Nin. What a gift.)
Love to you & Lady G & the extraordinary humans in your life
Preach on, Preacher!
I spoke with a co-worker this week and said,
“I understand the importance of knowing your ‘Companions’ and your ‘Competition’ but have you ever thought that maybe the ‘COMPARISON’ between is getting tangled in the sails and blowing our lil ship here and there amongst the waves?”
Sometimes we just sail so much smoother when we are who we are and who we were made to be - not who “they” are or what we think “they” want us to be. (Fill in the blank to who your “they” might be).
🙏🏼✌🏼🤟🏼
I ended this one with a hand over my aching heart. You have no idea how much I needed this message. Lately I feel like 43 years old is an odd and unexpected tipping point between being young and vibrant and older and (just speaking for myself) not as relevant or lovely and I find myself questioning more the choices I would have quickly made because they felt joyful wondering if it’s maybe too youthful for this age. The Ted Lasso Believe sticker on the back of my phone case and the bright yellow crocs with a variety of fun jibbitz which make me smile every time with their joyful colour and playfulness? A hesitation now and a feeling that I need to be something different because I’m getting older. Reading this I feel like my unique song - the choices that make me joyful are the right one. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I love this! THANK YOU!! My kids grew up in the 80s and 90s before all this device-delivered madness invaded our homes. I work in early intervention (helping families with infants and toddlers who have developmental delays) and commonly see 2 year olds expertly navigating on their parents phone. Sigh. Thank you for the reminder of the preciousness of our uniqueness.
I saw The Music of Ainur while reading this.
I loved this one today (I probably say that after listening each week). I grew up in the 70’s, long before social media, and there was lots of pressure to fit in. We didn’t call it bullying back then but I was a bit of a weird kid who dressed differently and I was reminded of this every day until I went to a large inner city high school in the 80’s where it was actually cool to be an individual. Still, I struggled for years with how I saw myself - perhaps distracted by TV, movies and advertising (our equivalent of today’s social media?). Somehow, I ended up with two children who have the confidence to be who they are, despite the typical addiction to their phones. As a I age and care far, far less about what other people think, only now am I able to truly listen for and sing my own song. I think if we could all learn to do that- and accept the songs of others- we would not be (so) broken.
I was just thinking something similar earlier... But I love the music metaphor! Let us Weird Barbies unite! 😉
Tyler, I love the photo you shared My daughter just became engaged on the Oregon Coast! Ok back to point, it is tiring to deal with comparisons, and to ground yourself in the midst of all the noise. Yet taking two minutes to just stop and be still has been the best way to deal with panic and anxiety and ...all the other ticks in my personality. You are a true light, and thanks for this post. Love it.
The sense of comparing our lives to others and wanting what they have and to somehow fit a mold isn't confined to teenagers. My mom has been trying to force our fracturing family (me, my kids and grandkids) to be like her friend's family - all inclusive and everyone goes to everyone's events, shared vacations, etc. That's not us - never will be - for myriad reasons. She doesn't understand why people can go no contact with family, saying that sometimes people leave this world unexpectedly, leaving things unsaid. We, the people of this planet, need to focus on living our own best lives, finding our own path that leads to our happiness. Life is too short to be based on what others might think.
I spent 29 years living life for my parents and a terrible ex. Thought I was too far into to change and find myself. One day I had enough, and just started a new life. It’s been the hardest thing. I am realizing more and more how many people have given up on their dreams. I think back to school and can only remember our individuality being stripped away as we were all encouraged to conform and fit into friend groups. We need more people in this world being radically authentic and showing others it’s ok to be. That it’s not too late to be who we truly are!
I always love a music analogy. Thank you for this. I feel like I'm always pushing against what's trendy or popular. The older I get, the more I march to my own beat and reject anything that doesn't feel like me. I am perfectly happy in my rhythm.