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founding

A few years ago I finally began focusing on the life I wanted rather than glide through life wishing for the life I wanted. I remember that day so clearly because a lady bug landed on my finger and I took a picture of it. What I didn’t know at the time, one the same day that the lady bug landed on my finger, Matthew was standing on top of a mountain thinking about his life and how he was ready for change. Six months later we would meet and we finally have the life we imaged we would be living. I wanted to give up on finding my life partner and I’m so grateful I didn’t. He’s the lighthouse I didn’t know I needed.

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I love the thoughts and Tayler’s Haiku. Thank you!

Since I am an old man now, I have a kind of bird’s eye perspective on my life. I did not grow up with a loving, nurturing home, and during adolescence I learned that you had to be the donor of other’s and your own happiness, that when you are happy you “infect” others with happiness. More importantly, in school I learned that selfishness is the enemy of happiness, that we have to think of us as members of our community. So, whenever that Frostian moment comes, it’s relatively easy for me to make choices. I ask myself what the implication for my choices are. Is what I propose to do good for as many of the people surrounding me as possible? I have said it before in this forum — I’m a happy man! It doesn’t mean I’m always merry, but that my sadness is balanced with my happiness. I try not to regret choices. It doesn’t just happen. I try to act in ways that make sure it does. This Tanka poem tries to distill my thoughts

———

people often ask

why can’t we be happier?

they don’t understand

it’s not a gift from others

you have to give it yourself

———

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A few weeks ago I came to the realization that the life I so often visualize myself into in my head is possible, because I can picture myself being there. I also realized if I keep following the same patterns I will stay in the life I have now, which isn't terrible, but isn't where I would want my evolution to stop.

I've realized this life I want for myself full of freedom, confidence, love, growth, and expansion will all be built on a foundation of energy. So, I've started cutting myself off from energy that doesn't feel free, genuine, loving, nurturing, and expansive.

I believe every step we choose to take now has the potential to start leading us towards the future we want, or keep us in the present life we have now.

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My experience is that sometimes the choice is just a decision to grow, not to select one defined path or another. My story is that I was called...like vocationally....to be a teacher when I was four years old. It would be another 19 years before I'd land my first paying job as a professional certified teacher....but I knew the act of teaching others was my path. That said, after over a decade of that work, I had another call from the Universe that I had to take the path of healing....for myself, but also to heal others. That path came in the form of Reiki. For awhile, I felt like I was at a crossroads...am I meant to leave teaching to become a Reiki practitioner? It felt like a crisis of choice....and I sat with it a long time. In the meantime, I became part of some very important work with social emotional learning and working with students who'd been through trauma and I realized..... there are those two paths....but there's a third...and it's essentially the center lane on my own three lane highway. It turns out that empowering people with tools to heal and maintain their own wellness is the halfway point for a teacher/healer. So now I move seamlessly between all of my lanes. I teach English, I teach social emotional wellness, I teach Reiki, and a practice Reiki whenever and wherever the occasion and need arise. In my case, the choice I needed to make was to take a broader view of what lay before me and see what was possible.

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I just chose to start my own business shooting wedding films, so I am in the middle of the leap towards the life I want. :)

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