In an attempt to point out and truly call attention to the things I appreciate about my life, the things that I refuse to let myself take for granted, the things that deserve praise and even one moment of hesitation on, today I’m going to say exactly that. I appreciate how no matter what life throws at me, I have someone by my side that sticks, truly sticks. I appreciate how when the winters get freezing cold and seem to stretch on into oblivion, she’s there, (and now, Gilly is there too) and I appreciate how when summer arrives and it burns everything around me leaving everything charred and brittle, again, she’s there. I appreciate what it is to have a partner, a true partner that challenges you, pushes you to be better, and refuses to put up with your bullshit when your bullshit won’t stop coming. I need this. She needs this. We all do, and I think one of the most incorrect assumptions is, that partnership has to be a romantic one. For me, it happens to be, but in no way is the romance or sexuality of the thing a prerequisite. There are a dozen ways to obtain this, a dozen ways to be fulfilled, and a romantic connection is only one. The key, is finding
It really is an amazing thing to find partnerships in this crazy life. Feeling the security within that kind of connecting really does lay the foundation for fulfillment because the safety creates a secure base from which to launch and fly. Ideally, this is the role that family fills for children, that best friends fill for adolescents and adults, and that marriage fills for adults throughout. (These relationships lay the groundwork for the sense of security all people require according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.)
However, life is rarely ideal, which is why a lack of security is, for so many, a trauma to heal from and why we continue to seek it, to find "the one".
I think our growth is dependent on both knowing what it feels like to be without partnership, AND experiencing what it feels like to live within partnership. That contrast drives the appreciation you speak of here....knowing what someone brings to your life makes you cherish it and return it in kind. It's not enough to "find the one". You also has to "be the one" for the partnership to thrive. But in that reciprocity, the circle completes.
I agree that partnership can be found in multiple kinds of connecting. For me, my relationships that fulfill this need are with my husband and my two best friends, who I call my sisters. They are my emotional safety and my secure base. They offer me love without judgment and know that I offer it back. That creates a freedom to be authentic, vulnerable, and to belong to each other.
"Life is meant to be a daring adventure, launched from a secure base"
Thank you, Tyler! So immensely important! Well, if sex is erroneously seen as a synonym — or should I call it a euphemism? — for romance, good luck! It will be all you’ll ever get and it will wear out in a jiffy becaus it has no weight. Of course, a partnership means work. I’ve been so lucky. In my long life, I’ve been in a number of good partnerships, a wonderful wife of almost four decades, and now a totally understanding and supportive husband, a gem of a partner. All people getting married read the marriage vows — you know, all that “in sickness and in health … and ... “till death do us part stuffand” — but just reading it isn’t good enough. I actually believed completely in those vows and longed for them. I congratulate every person who is in a partnership like that. You are so blessed! Never take it for granted, ever! Sorry if that was an Empath lecture. I couldn’t help it.
It really is an amazing thing to find partnerships in this crazy life. Feeling the security within that kind of connecting really does lay the foundation for fulfillment because the safety creates a secure base from which to launch and fly. Ideally, this is the role that family fills for children, that best friends fill for adolescents and adults, and that marriage fills for adults throughout. (These relationships lay the groundwork for the sense of security all people require according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.)
However, life is rarely ideal, which is why a lack of security is, for so many, a trauma to heal from and why we continue to seek it, to find "the one".
I think our growth is dependent on both knowing what it feels like to be without partnership, AND experiencing what it feels like to live within partnership. That contrast drives the appreciation you speak of here....knowing what someone brings to your life makes you cherish it and return it in kind. It's not enough to "find the one". You also has to "be the one" for the partnership to thrive. But in that reciprocity, the circle completes.
I agree that partnership can be found in multiple kinds of connecting. For me, my relationships that fulfill this need are with my husband and my two best friends, who I call my sisters. They are my emotional safety and my secure base. They offer me love without judgment and know that I offer it back. That creates a freedom to be authentic, vulnerable, and to belong to each other.
"Life is meant to be a daring adventure, launched from a secure base"
Thank you for reminding us what may be right next to us.
Thank you, Tyler! So immensely important! Well, if sex is erroneously seen as a synonym — or should I call it a euphemism? — for romance, good luck! It will be all you’ll ever get and it will wear out in a jiffy becaus it has no weight. Of course, a partnership means work. I’ve been so lucky. In my long life, I’ve been in a number of good partnerships, a wonderful wife of almost four decades, and now a totally understanding and supportive husband, a gem of a partner. All people getting married read the marriage vows — you know, all that “in sickness and in health … and ... “till death do us part stuffand” — but just reading it isn’t good enough. I actually believed completely in those vows and longed for them. I congratulate every person who is in a partnership like that. You are so blessed! Never take it for granted, ever! Sorry if that was an Empath lecture. I couldn’t help it.
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they demand romance
but that not nearly enough
a true partnership
will include bad times and joy
sickness, health, and all the rest
———
with true partnerships
you get all that and romance
as much as you want to have
it all comes as a package
if the partnership fits right
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