Listen now (11 mins) | The Sunday Edition
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been thinking about making some changes to my life, involving grabbing life, and daring to live with less fear. I keep thinking,.. I want to learn this, or try that ,.. but I get hung up on wanting to share these with my people, and some of them have other priorities, some of them are not able for physical reasons to live like this, or simply are content with the quiet life they have. This leaves me feeling lonely at times.
When I journal I find myself reflecting on what it felt like to have “my person” in my life. He was 2,500 miles away, but we spoke every day. Sometimes all day. We dreamed of traveling together. We did that for 9 years. I have physically lived alone for almost a decade. Before that I was married for 23 years and raising 3 kids. We traveled together extensively as a family. It was a different phase of life. My ex husband is a wonderful man, but we had a less than optimal way of being together. My memories of travel, while great, reflect that.
In 2016, I set out solo to drive around the country. The feeling was exhilarating, a little intimidating, but nothing was going to stop me. I had a destination, with no set in stone plans on getting to it. I spent two months going through 25 states, and drove 10,000 miles. It was a trip that was meant to be done alone, for me, at that time. It was life changing. It was the highest of highs, and also the lowest of lows. I have traveled solo to other places, and have done so with full enjoyment, regardless of the experience. There were times I wanted to share a place with a photo, or tell a story, sure. But travel is really like anything else in life. If you’re ok being alone, it’s not outside a comfort zone. But there are degrees to existing. We need connection. Intimacy. Physical touch. I’ve always said we are not wired to be alone, it isn’t a full life when not shared in some way. I even wrote down just the other night, a challenge to the universe to change my mind. I’ve had both extremes. Too much, and not enough. The middle is hard to find. It matters who you find it with. We are driven, I think…to go where we are meant. Guided by something higher. If it pulls or pushes, we have the choice to act. Some places, like people, are magical. I hope you find it. It matters not how.
I love to travel solo. I think most big solos trips I've done, whether driving across country or flying overseas, have been at times when my daily life was so chaotic and stressful, that being alone traveling felt like a safe haven, a place I could take a full deep breath and take each moment as it came. The thing I love about travel is how it strips away some of the complexity of life at home. Everything becomes simplified and my usual day to day responsibilities aren't grabbing at my attention.
That being said, I've done as much traveling with friends as I have alone and those adventures are a sweet collection of memories that I would not trade for anything. There is a comfort in traveling with a friend or two, the safety of familiar faces and the joy of sharing the excitement of new places. But I think I'll always love the independence of a solo trip. The conversations I have with strangers that I would never strike up if I had a friend with me. The freedom to set my own pace and do as much or as little as I desire. It can be exhausting to travel solo. But it's freedom to me, and I do love to be free.
Memories when shared are the best. My niece and nephew (two years old and five) are my world. Although my brother's children, they feel like my own. And every single memory I have with them is priceless for example: their First words, first attempt and fails, me teaching them what I can, their little laughs, not to mention a whole notebook dedicated to their scribble drawings. 💜💙😭
Ugh I love them and every minute spent with them.