If this newsletter is one thing, it is optimistic. It’s this seed of hope and what I can only hope is light that finds you each morning, and if I am lucky, blossoms over the course of your day, your week, or even your month. I hope for this, me from behind this screen, me from this mountain in Montana, me from this keyboard reaching out to you, wherever you are. I know it’s optimistic, I know it’s probably even seen as naive to some who read it, and that is ok, because I truly believe it’s also rooted in a realism that comes from experience, and experience that came from learning lessons from a hell of a lot of failure, a hell of a lot of heartache, and a hell of a lot of waiting. Where I will argue, however, is that it’s only this, only optimistic. I think the true roots of this little signal fire are deeper, just as the words many misinterpret in my poetry, there is depth that if you don't go looking, you might miss. Today’s haiku below, is precisely this. On first reading, it seems as though I’m saying I am lucky to wake and that the simple act of greeting a new day is this rosy hued gem of a thing. Not so.
So while I don't identify as a Buddhist myself, after reading this, I think I've come to follow some Buddhist thought all the same. When you speak of life being suffering, I think of my own life philosophy, an image of peaks and valleys...that life is an ongoing landscape where the valleys are the hard moments of suffering and struggle, the peaks those moments of elation and happiness we wish we could live in forever. But I guess my understanding of the point you're making...that "whatever comes" is that I've come to think of those valleys as a thing to suffer, yes....but also a challenge and a chance to level up and fight for the next cycle. I *get* to figure out the next steps, I have the privilege, if I live through it, to hike my way to the next peak, no matter how exhausting the climb. I lean deep into the work and I keep going because in the work is the growth. I think this post hit me this way today because last night I had a conversation with my husband and he told me one thing he loves about me is that I don't let anything defeat me. And I realized it's true, although I hadn't thought about it that way. No matter how deep the pit, as much as I accept the suffering, the challenge, and the pain of it, I will not curl into a ball and live there. I often take a seat, have a deep cathartic cry, and take a few breaths.....but then I get climbing. Sometimes the pattern of it...the ups and downs over time bring Sysiphus to mind.....but what the Existential philosophers got wrong is this: It's never the same climb. If you let the suffering teach you the lesson it came to deliver, you rise each time to the next apex a changed person. It's not an exercise in futility.... it's one of evolution. The flaw for poor Sysiphus is that he never knew he could be a phoenix, rising stronger each time. It changes the game when you're willing to let the fall and the climb change you. It becomes an alchemical journey to let the fire of suffering burn in the dark until you rise again in light.
I absolutely love the message behind today’s haiku! Thank you for your insight. I’ve never been a person to practice a religion, but Buddhism has always interested me. Do you have a book you’d recommend to someone who would want to learn more?
Some thoughts about today’s topic— “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” is an old Buddhist saying that I personally am very fond of. What it means is that when you are badly hurt, a lot of the hurt is your reaction to something that has happened to you. Much hurt is aggravated because of how we react to things.
Here is a example: when my wife, Cathy, died prematurely at the age of, 55 I was devastated and didn’t know how I could go on. My Buddhist friend and mentor, who had known and loved Cathy as well, led me to the light. He taught me about the balance we need. Soon after the funeral, during my darkest hour, he rook me aside. Took my hands and looked deep into my eyes and told me what a beautiful person my wife had been and always would be. He reminisced about many wonderful times the three of us had experienced and saw these reminiscences as precious gifts. “Every time you are sad about her, remember something precious about her. When you look at the pain and the joy you had together, isn’t the joy the most important thing?”
Soon after Cathy’s death I was able to stop crying and, instead, broke out into a warm smile and felt her love whenever I thought of her. It still works after 21 years. It is her preciousness and the sadness as a bundle that is part of me. The pain was transformed into peace for ever. Remember also C.S. Lewis: “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
I've brought you the story of Who Knows, a perspective story that helped me change my direction....."A Story.
The unknown origins of this story tells of a farmer who used an old horse to help plough his fields.
One day, the horse escaped and galloped off. When the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the man over the bad news, the farmer replied, “Good? or Bad? Who Knows?”
A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses! This time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on this good news. He replied, “Good? or Bad? Who knows?
Then when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off the horse’s back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this was very bad news. The farmer’s reaction, “Good? or Bad? Who knows?
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village requiring every able-bodies youth they found to enlist. When they saw the farmer’s son with this broken leg, they let him off.
Good? or Bad? Who Knows?..."
Don't know if you have read it before or even printed it yourself, but it always strikes me. There are so many unexpected turns life throws us.....Looking back I just shake my head. IT's one of the big reasons I still motor on after all the suffering - that joy comes along with it, surprises too!
I love the preamble today - I am not very good at embracing the suffering and the difficult things - but I have started to strive to. I am so cognizant of the complexities of everything - every human being, every situation really. I see it from a very small scale to a huge cosmic one - and I am even more cognizant that as humans, we are problem seekers and problem solvers, so even as we experience beautiful and wonderful things and appreciate life, we are also struggling. The struggle is real, pretty much no matter who you are - it's just that the struggle might differ in tone or dimension. Also, I am amazed at the consistency of the human condition and the human struggle. It doesn't matter if we're reading Rumi or Shakespeare or Marcus Aurelius or Tyler or ourselves, the emotions and our responses are so similar. So, it's a weird paradox - everyone's situation is singular AND yet consistent with our timeless humanity - and it's a jumble of all this good and all this terrible stuff. Love to all of us for seeking out the next day, the next adventure, the next love.
Your words captured exactly what these newsletters are for me: REAL. You have a way of putting the truths of life in words that I deeply appreciate.
So while I don't identify as a Buddhist myself, after reading this, I think I've come to follow some Buddhist thought all the same. When you speak of life being suffering, I think of my own life philosophy, an image of peaks and valleys...that life is an ongoing landscape where the valleys are the hard moments of suffering and struggle, the peaks those moments of elation and happiness we wish we could live in forever. But I guess my understanding of the point you're making...that "whatever comes" is that I've come to think of those valleys as a thing to suffer, yes....but also a challenge and a chance to level up and fight for the next cycle. I *get* to figure out the next steps, I have the privilege, if I live through it, to hike my way to the next peak, no matter how exhausting the climb. I lean deep into the work and I keep going because in the work is the growth. I think this post hit me this way today because last night I had a conversation with my husband and he told me one thing he loves about me is that I don't let anything defeat me. And I realized it's true, although I hadn't thought about it that way. No matter how deep the pit, as much as I accept the suffering, the challenge, and the pain of it, I will not curl into a ball and live there. I often take a seat, have a deep cathartic cry, and take a few breaths.....but then I get climbing. Sometimes the pattern of it...the ups and downs over time bring Sysiphus to mind.....but what the Existential philosophers got wrong is this: It's never the same climb. If you let the suffering teach you the lesson it came to deliver, you rise each time to the next apex a changed person. It's not an exercise in futility.... it's one of evolution. The flaw for poor Sysiphus is that he never knew he could be a phoenix, rising stronger each time. It changes the game when you're willing to let the fall and the climb change you. It becomes an alchemical journey to let the fire of suffering burn in the dark until you rise again in light.
I absolutely love the message behind today’s haiku! Thank you for your insight. I’ve never been a person to practice a religion, but Buddhism has always interested me. Do you have a book you’d recommend to someone who would want to learn more?
Some thoughts about today’s topic— “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” is an old Buddhist saying that I personally am very fond of. What it means is that when you are badly hurt, a lot of the hurt is your reaction to something that has happened to you. Much hurt is aggravated because of how we react to things.
Here is a example: when my wife, Cathy, died prematurely at the age of, 55 I was devastated and didn’t know how I could go on. My Buddhist friend and mentor, who had known and loved Cathy as well, led me to the light. He taught me about the balance we need. Soon after the funeral, during my darkest hour, he rook me aside. Took my hands and looked deep into my eyes and told me what a beautiful person my wife had been and always would be. He reminisced about many wonderful times the three of us had experienced and saw these reminiscences as precious gifts. “Every time you are sad about her, remember something precious about her. When you look at the pain and the joy you had together, isn’t the joy the most important thing?”
Soon after Cathy’s death I was able to stop crying and, instead, broke out into a warm smile and felt her love whenever I thought of her. It still works after 21 years. It is her preciousness and the sadness as a bundle that is part of me. The pain was transformed into peace for ever. Remember also C.S. Lewis: “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
———
For Cathy
———
life’s sadness and joy —
our love was forever
then you passed away
there is still a happy end
we have not really parted
I've brought you the story of Who Knows, a perspective story that helped me change my direction....."A Story.
The unknown origins of this story tells of a farmer who used an old horse to help plough his fields.
One day, the horse escaped and galloped off. When the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the man over the bad news, the farmer replied, “Good? or Bad? Who Knows?”
A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses! This time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on this good news. He replied, “Good? or Bad? Who knows?
Then when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off the horse’s back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this was very bad news. The farmer’s reaction, “Good? or Bad? Who knows?
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village requiring every able-bodies youth they found to enlist. When they saw the farmer’s son with this broken leg, they let him off.
Good? or Bad? Who Knows?..."
Don't know if you have read it before or even printed it yourself, but it always strikes me. There are so many unexpected turns life throws us.....Looking back I just shake my head. IT's one of the big reasons I still motor on after all the suffering - that joy comes along with it, surprises too!
I love the preamble today - I am not very good at embracing the suffering and the difficult things - but I have started to strive to. I am so cognizant of the complexities of everything - every human being, every situation really. I see it from a very small scale to a huge cosmic one - and I am even more cognizant that as humans, we are problem seekers and problem solvers, so even as we experience beautiful and wonderful things and appreciate life, we are also struggling. The struggle is real, pretty much no matter who you are - it's just that the struggle might differ in tone or dimension. Also, I am amazed at the consistency of the human condition and the human struggle. It doesn't matter if we're reading Rumi or Shakespeare or Marcus Aurelius or Tyler or ourselves, the emotions and our responses are so similar. So, it's a weird paradox - everyone's situation is singular AND yet consistent with our timeless humanity - and it's a jumble of all this good and all this terrible stuff. Love to all of us for seeking out the next day, the next adventure, the next love.