Forgiving myself always seems to be the hardest part. But I am learning. Learning to give myself grace for past mistakes. Remembering that everything that has happened to me has led me to now. Has returned me to myself. And the more I grow, the more I realize how much growing I need to do. And such is life.
Yes so so so true. Everything that came before led you here. And you are stronger than you know. We can do the hard work. The growth is happening even when we don't think it is. I'm walking this path right along with you!
I never know why it's always hardest to forgive ourselves, why we hold ourselves to such high standards we don't require of anyone else. Such is life indeed.
Such a hard lesson, for me. I am improving but man, I wish I was better and the Letting Go. Acknowledging without reopening a wound. Saying, we're both imperfect, I have forgiven them but also myself, and I choose to move differently going forward instead of constantly bringing up the past. It's such a struggle sometimes.
My most favorite pastor in the world said that forgiveness really isn’t between you and the person who wronged you- it’s between you and God. They may not know, care or even want forgiveness (or are deceased) so releasing (and re- releasing and re-re- however many times it takes) is for you and your higher power, not them. That changed my perspective.
Tyler; like last weekend - so much wonderful imagery here, so I decided to try to write a piece with the struggle of a son unburdening the legacy of his father.
I live with someone who struggles mightily to forgive her life circumstances. I love her dearly. I know she has to come to this in her own time. Your writing reminds me that it's a long arc, to love her, to be patient, and hold a space where that arc can unfold.
I am reminded that grief has no timetable and no constant from one person to the next. Forgiveness seems to run along the same arc.
But what are we forgiving ourselves for if we are the ones who have been done wrong? The only thing I can think of would be holding on to the story, which is the last thing to go, if it ever really goes at all. Nothing can replace what has been taken. Nothing. ... and maybe that's it? The No Thing.
Perhaps we forgive ourselves for the hatred we may be carrying? Perhaps we lay it down and walk away. Perhaps we stop allowing it to fester. ... I have found grief in the situations that beg for forgiveness. The loss of a friendship ... innocence ... time. It piles up. Multiplies into one. big. thing.
Trunks and trunks in the attic. Maybe, maybe those trunks need to be disappeared. Not just given away to something/someone else,
Forgiving myself always seems to be the hardest part. But I am learning. Learning to give myself grace for past mistakes. Remembering that everything that has happened to me has led me to now. Has returned me to myself. And the more I grow, the more I realize how much growing I need to do. And such is life.
Yes! to everything you said (so eloquently) above.
Yes so so so true. Everything that came before led you here. And you are stronger than you know. We can do the hard work. The growth is happening even when we don't think it is. I'm walking this path right along with you!
You're so right on this. We must do all we've done to be all we are.
I never know why it's always hardest to forgive ourselves, why we hold ourselves to such high standards we don't require of anyone else. Such is life indeed.
Such a hard lesson, for me. I am improving but man, I wish I was better and the Letting Go. Acknowledging without reopening a wound. Saying, we're both imperfect, I have forgiven them but also myself, and I choose to move differently going forward instead of constantly bringing up the past. It's such a struggle sometimes.
It's the hardest thing. We struggle so much on this, so very very much.
My most favorite pastor in the world said that forgiveness really isn’t between you and the person who wronged you- it’s between you and God. They may not know, care or even want forgiveness (or are deceased) so releasing (and re- releasing and re-re- however many times it takes) is for you and your higher power, not them. That changed my perspective.
This is the foundation of it all: We forget that people are not thinking of us half as much as we think they are :)
Tyler; like last weekend - so much wonderful imagery here, so I decided to try to write a piece with the struggle of a son unburdening the legacy of his father.
Dis-robed / The unburdening
Faded wool like ash and stone,
Shoulders stooped from quiet grief,
Heavy skirts without relief—
I must wear my father’s coat.
Fabric steeped in bitter hopes,
Pockets lined with deep regrets,
Seams strained from those nervous sweats,
Woven from his stranded dreams.
With Shoulders broad to bear it,
And Legs strong to step ahead,
Now my mind demands instead,
To pull my arms from his pain.
No excuse will bring me peace,
Answers are not here to hide
Forgiven for pain inside,
I must lay his fabric down.
oh. Kevin ... so much
Kevin, good gravy. This. Your last line hit like a ton of bricks. What an outstanding piece.
I live with someone who struggles mightily to forgive her life circumstances. I love her dearly. I know she has to come to this in her own time. Your writing reminds me that it's a long arc, to love her, to be patient, and hold a space where that arc can unfold.
This is so hard. All we can do is keep showing up, keep being patient. Keep trying.
I am reminded that grief has no timetable and no constant from one person to the next. Forgiveness seems to run along the same arc.
But what are we forgiving ourselves for if we are the ones who have been done wrong? The only thing I can think of would be holding on to the story, which is the last thing to go, if it ever really goes at all. Nothing can replace what has been taken. Nothing. ... and maybe that's it? The No Thing.
Perhaps we forgive ourselves for the hatred we may be carrying? Perhaps we lay it down and walk away. Perhaps we stop allowing it to fester. ... I have found grief in the situations that beg for forgiveness. The loss of a friendship ... innocence ... time. It piles up. Multiplies into one. big. thing.
Trunks and trunks in the attic. Maybe, maybe those trunks need to be disappeared. Not just given away to something/someone else,
... but ... a ... big ... bonfire.
This is the biggest thing ever, that there is no timetable, there is no constant.
LOL I love your introductions, just sayin!
The endless ramble. ;)