I hope that you, whomever you are reading this little post on this little day, have never had suicide directly touch your life. I hope you’ve never lost someone to themselves, never had to say goodbye to someone who is already gone, never looked in the mirror and wondered if you could have done more (please know it is not your fault), never tried to understand something that is altogether too often un-understandable. I hope so, so sincerely, but I doubt it all the same. I have lost people I love to suicide, and I carry their weight daily. I wonder, daily. This poem, is not about someone I know personally, but the loss of them affected me as though I did, and obviously, still does. One of my favorite bands on earth, Frightened Rabbit, a Scottish band through and through, lost their leader a couple of years back, to suicide. Scott Hutchison was the founding member of this little band, and he sang about sorrow with such passionate hope, that I related instantly, deeply, and personally. His loss was a massive one, as he often sang about the precise way he chose to take is own life in songs before it happened. He leapt from the Forth Road Bridge in Edinburgh one night, and has been missed ever since. This poem, this little shout into the absolute
This is beautiful. Your poems are always a lifeline of defiant hope for me...especially the custom one whose last three lines are tattooed on my arm. Thank you.
That is beautiful..bit you could have met them on the bridge and it would not have mattered. They have to meet us before. And I know..my eh husband and daughter talk about this often
We have to talk way before the bridge or let go. Which is horrible but we do.
Thank you for your beautiful words, in the poem and the post. I’ve tried to be someone’s light a few times before, sometimes successfully. More frequently, and in secret, I’ve desperately searched for someone in those dark moments to be there for me. It has taken many years of therapy and some lucky mistakes that mean I am still here. Still trying to carry that defiant hope for myself.
Admittedly, years ago, finding one of your books I had bought on my shelf was was helped pull me from darkness one night. And it’s meant the world to me ever since, being fortunate enough to continue to read your words.
It's so hard to look back and wonder if there was more we could have done...if we could have made a difference. I lost a friend to suicide in high school and it was devastating. But, what's been even harder for me to face, are the losses that feel hopeless as they slip away slowly: my mother has Alzheimer's and it's like watching her drift out to sea in boat that has no oars, while I stand on shore helpless. I also lost my best friend of 23 years to his drug addiction...no amount of intervention could stop the loss. Neither of these two people are gone in body, but they are in spirit, so grief is ongoing and constant, because of the helplessness that seems to be suspended indefinitely. In a way, it's a blessing to grieve once someone is gone. But, it speaks to the very heart of you, all of you, who fight so hard to be a light where there is none. We may not be able to save the one we wish we had, but perhaps the light in our hearts touches others who do and can make better choices because of our interventions. 💗
Well now I’m crying on a bus! 😭 resonates so strong. Lost a friend a couple of years back and it’s devastating . Thankful for your whispers of hope in this poem 🙏
This broke my heart this morning. I’ve never lost anyone close in this way, but I know people who have stood on the edge, holding on by their fingertips. I also know that this last week or two I have been drowning in something I’ve not felt for a long time, but doesn’t feel good and, though I have some amazing friends, don’t feel I want to burden them with my lack of joy...I also don’t want to talk about it, explain it. Just the thought exhausts me and brings tears to my eyes.
Your words, though, bring me hope. Everyday now I look for your emails, because I know there is light in each of them that I can hold on to. Light that shows me the next, tiny step I need to take. You have no idea how much your words are what I need right now.
i have mixed feelings about this. my mom was suicidal during a good part of her life. she's still alive, thank God, but has never really been present in my life or the lives of my siblings for about 20 years now. so even though she was "saved" from suicide her life has been quite a bit diminished. there are also severe consequences to loved ones who live with a suicidal person who doesn't go through with it. i'm not saying we shouldn't intervene, it's just that we can only do so much. my siblings and i rallied to save my mom but we could only keep her alive, we couldn't really give her a full or meaningful life. sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier to lose her 20 to 25 years ago than to have a partial mother for the past 25 years. she's still alive and we love her and support her and take care of her, but she's not really there in a lot of ways. it's a tough situation.
This poem sent a chill from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Suicide has reared its ugly head many times in my life. I feel as though this is a safe space to recognize the people I have lost, and wish them eternal peace.
- Bill, my grandpa, who committed suicide on the first day of school in 2009.
- Nathan, my brother's best friend, whom we lost in 2013. He was like a brother to me.
- Jon, my ex-boyfriend, who took his life last May 2019. I was haunted for months after hearing this news. It is still very raw, and almost unbelievable. That year, his birthday fell on National Suicide Awareness day.
- Summer, a girl I went to school with, who just a couple months ago committed suicide on the eve of the anniversary of her little sister's death. A heart-breaking, gut wrenching, "punched in the stomach" feeling for our whole community.
Each one of these losses could have been saved, and I often find myself on dark days wondering what more I could've done. People always say that life keeps moving forward, and eventually you get past it. These are losses I have carried every single day. It doesn't matter how recent or long passed the loss is; on every anniversary it feels like the first day itself. All I can do is rejoice in knowing their pain is no longer and that they are reunited with the people they missed. I am eager to see them all again one day.
This was beautiful and touched me deeply. It is always a gem for me to find poetry on the loss of friends - so many poems exist about heartbreak from the loss of a lover, but the loss of a friend is just as much of a permanent fixture in your mind. Having lost two people in my life to suicide over the years, it brought me some peace to read this piece. Thank you.
My dad attempted suicide two years ago. He was a firefighter, and sustained a head injury from a collapsing chimney. The injury aggravated his depression and brought him to rock bottom. That was one of the scariest phone calls I've ever had in my life.
This is beautiful. Your poems are always a lifeline of defiant hope for me...especially the custom one whose last three lines are tattooed on my arm. Thank you.
That is beautiful..bit you could have met them on the bridge and it would not have mattered. They have to meet us before. And I know..my eh husband and daughter talk about this often
We have to talk way before the bridge or let go. Which is horrible but we do.
My heart got caught in my throat reading, not only your point, but your thoughts leading into it ♥️
Thank you for your beautiful words, in the poem and the post. I’ve tried to be someone’s light a few times before, sometimes successfully. More frequently, and in secret, I’ve desperately searched for someone in those dark moments to be there for me. It has taken many years of therapy and some lucky mistakes that mean I am still here. Still trying to carry that defiant hope for myself.
Admittedly, years ago, finding one of your books I had bought on my shelf was was helped pull me from darkness one night. And it’s meant the world to me ever since, being fortunate enough to continue to read your words.
It's so hard to look back and wonder if there was more we could have done...if we could have made a difference. I lost a friend to suicide in high school and it was devastating. But, what's been even harder for me to face, are the losses that feel hopeless as they slip away slowly: my mother has Alzheimer's and it's like watching her drift out to sea in boat that has no oars, while I stand on shore helpless. I also lost my best friend of 23 years to his drug addiction...no amount of intervention could stop the loss. Neither of these two people are gone in body, but they are in spirit, so grief is ongoing and constant, because of the helplessness that seems to be suspended indefinitely. In a way, it's a blessing to grieve once someone is gone. But, it speaks to the very heart of you, all of you, who fight so hard to be a light where there is none. We may not be able to save the one we wish we had, but perhaps the light in our hearts touches others who do and can make better choices because of our interventions. 💗
Well now I’m crying on a bus! 😭 resonates so strong. Lost a friend a couple of years back and it’s devastating . Thankful for your whispers of hope in this poem 🙏
This broke my heart this morning. I’ve never lost anyone close in this way, but I know people who have stood on the edge, holding on by their fingertips. I also know that this last week or two I have been drowning in something I’ve not felt for a long time, but doesn’t feel good and, though I have some amazing friends, don’t feel I want to burden them with my lack of joy...I also don’t want to talk about it, explain it. Just the thought exhausts me and brings tears to my eyes.
Your words, though, bring me hope. Everyday now I look for your emails, because I know there is light in each of them that I can hold on to. Light that shows me the next, tiny step I need to take. You have no idea how much your words are what I need right now.
💙
i have mixed feelings about this. my mom was suicidal during a good part of her life. she's still alive, thank God, but has never really been present in my life or the lives of my siblings for about 20 years now. so even though she was "saved" from suicide her life has been quite a bit diminished. there are also severe consequences to loved ones who live with a suicidal person who doesn't go through with it. i'm not saying we shouldn't intervene, it's just that we can only do so much. my siblings and i rallied to save my mom but we could only keep her alive, we couldn't really give her a full or meaningful life. sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier to lose her 20 to 25 years ago than to have a partial mother for the past 25 years. she's still alive and we love her and support her and take care of her, but she's not really there in a lot of ways. it's a tough situation.
This poem sent a chill from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Suicide has reared its ugly head many times in my life. I feel as though this is a safe space to recognize the people I have lost, and wish them eternal peace.
- Bill, my grandpa, who committed suicide on the first day of school in 2009.
- Nathan, my brother's best friend, whom we lost in 2013. He was like a brother to me.
- Jon, my ex-boyfriend, who took his life last May 2019. I was haunted for months after hearing this news. It is still very raw, and almost unbelievable. That year, his birthday fell on National Suicide Awareness day.
- Summer, a girl I went to school with, who just a couple months ago committed suicide on the eve of the anniversary of her little sister's death. A heart-breaking, gut wrenching, "punched in the stomach" feeling for our whole community.
Each one of these losses could have been saved, and I often find myself on dark days wondering what more I could've done. People always say that life keeps moving forward, and eventually you get past it. These are losses I have carried every single day. It doesn't matter how recent or long passed the loss is; on every anniversary it feels like the first day itself. All I can do is rejoice in knowing their pain is no longer and that they are reunited with the people they missed. I am eager to see them all again one day.
This was beautiful and touched me deeply. It is always a gem for me to find poetry on the loss of friends - so many poems exist about heartbreak from the loss of a lover, but the loss of a friend is just as much of a permanent fixture in your mind. Having lost two people in my life to suicide over the years, it brought me some peace to read this piece. Thank you.
My dad attempted suicide two years ago. He was a firefighter, and sustained a head injury from a collapsing chimney. The injury aggravated his depression and brought him to rock bottom. That was one of the scariest phone calls I've ever had in my life.
I love you brother. Thanks for the constant hope.