Were I to make a poll, were you to answer it honestly, I’ve an overwhelming suspicion that 99% of you would answer Yes, to the following question: Do I carry the unnecessary weight of worry on a regular basis? My hand is up, my answer is yes. From financial concerns, health worries, fears of inadequacy and irrelevancy in an ever-changing world, to the more mundane problems of what to make for dinner, or how much laundry is waiting to be done, there are ten million things a day that steal our attention, that bog us down with weight. We know, all this while, that the worry doesn’t help and never adds up to anything useful, but we worry all the same. We carry these burdens like Sisyphus and then marvel when the boulder of it all falls back onto us.
I've found the only way to release unnecessary worry is through spiritual practices. First, learning to quiet the mind and second, learning to surrender to what life brings. Both of these efforts foster mindful presence to be in the moment with trust that all is serving our highest Self and the only thing we have control of are our reactions in the now. I highly recommend Michael Singer's books, The Surrender Experiment and The Untethered Soul...both speak to these needs within us. It's possible to live without worry, but it takes practice.
I think as humans we instinctively and evolutionarily crave control over our environments. We want to feel safe and well cared for, and if there's things that don't align with that we worry or are anxious. Thankfully humans also have the intellectual ability to acknowledge the worry is pointless, but I know I'm awful at it! Letting it go, in whatever way feels right, is so crucial.
Like Lisa Hedley, I find mindfulness and meditation practice a helpful tool for resting my mind, slowing adrenal response, and finding a feeling of calm when things are chaotic or stressful. That said, I also have some other helpful things I do to create a feeling of control and "I Can" energy. If it's day to day things, the simple *To Do* list is very organizing and forces me to triage what's most important, then what's important after that. If it's things "of the world" I tend to use the expression "Don't let what you can't do get in the way of what you can". So if I can't solve a big national problem being a citizen, I contact my elected officials....I "did something". If I can't help people directly on a grand scale, I think locally and help closer to home....I "did something." When I feel like I need to save the world (and as an empathic person, that desire comes often and could result in feeling powerless against daunting odds), I channel my inner Wonder Woman towards being wonderful for a few where I can make an impact. I'd rather feel empowered to do small things within my circle of control than be struck numb by a feeling that I'm failing due to the scope of a situation being bigger than me. If Mr. Roger's mom said "look for the helpers" in times of crisis, I just want to stick my landing of doing what I can with what I have... I'm a helper. Small hands, big heart, reasonable expectations of how I can show up.
Lastly, I divorced myself from any expectations of being perfect. I'm not, that's ok, I'm doing my best and it has to be good enough. Getting to that point was life changing.
It's stunning to me to realise that an event/situation/happening is neither good nor bad - but my perspective on it that does the passing of that judgement, and that is what creates either weight or weightlessness or somewhere in between. When I first started trying to meditate, I would struggle to show up and then I'd spend 5 timed minutes in an internal struggle to just sit there. But now it's been the only practice that has at times completely shifted my perspective, be present with difficult emotions and tap into a sense of calm. On that note, the Balance App (meditation app) has been a game-changer for me.
I wish there were an easy answer to this. And you're right, we "know" that worrying doesn't help, but our brains worry all the same. For me, I have found a couple of things that do help with stress and worry. The first is journaling. Specifically, in times of stress in my life, Morning Pages journaling has helped dump out the "brain garbage." The second thing is breathing exercises. The Wim Hop method is a good place to start and helps me feel centered.
As my dad used to say “don’t sweat the small stuff.” But it isn’t always that simple. A lot of worrying may be using energy needlessly-but sometimes I think it may be our way to sift through details, ideas, plans or solutions looking for the right fit.
I've found the only way to release unnecessary worry is through spiritual practices. First, learning to quiet the mind and second, learning to surrender to what life brings. Both of these efforts foster mindful presence to be in the moment with trust that all is serving our highest Self and the only thing we have control of are our reactions in the now. I highly recommend Michael Singer's books, The Surrender Experiment and The Untethered Soul...both speak to these needs within us. It's possible to live without worry, but it takes practice.
I think as humans we instinctively and evolutionarily crave control over our environments. We want to feel safe and well cared for, and if there's things that don't align with that we worry or are anxious. Thankfully humans also have the intellectual ability to acknowledge the worry is pointless, but I know I'm awful at it! Letting it go, in whatever way feels right, is so crucial.
Like Lisa Hedley, I find mindfulness and meditation practice a helpful tool for resting my mind, slowing adrenal response, and finding a feeling of calm when things are chaotic or stressful. That said, I also have some other helpful things I do to create a feeling of control and "I Can" energy. If it's day to day things, the simple *To Do* list is very organizing and forces me to triage what's most important, then what's important after that. If it's things "of the world" I tend to use the expression "Don't let what you can't do get in the way of what you can". So if I can't solve a big national problem being a citizen, I contact my elected officials....I "did something". If I can't help people directly on a grand scale, I think locally and help closer to home....I "did something." When I feel like I need to save the world (and as an empathic person, that desire comes often and could result in feeling powerless against daunting odds), I channel my inner Wonder Woman towards being wonderful for a few where I can make an impact. I'd rather feel empowered to do small things within my circle of control than be struck numb by a feeling that I'm failing due to the scope of a situation being bigger than me. If Mr. Roger's mom said "look for the helpers" in times of crisis, I just want to stick my landing of doing what I can with what I have... I'm a helper. Small hands, big heart, reasonable expectations of how I can show up.
Lastly, I divorced myself from any expectations of being perfect. I'm not, that's ok, I'm doing my best and it has to be good enough. Getting to that point was life changing.
It's stunning to me to realise that an event/situation/happening is neither good nor bad - but my perspective on it that does the passing of that judgement, and that is what creates either weight or weightlessness or somewhere in between. When I first started trying to meditate, I would struggle to show up and then I'd spend 5 timed minutes in an internal struggle to just sit there. But now it's been the only practice that has at times completely shifted my perspective, be present with difficult emotions and tap into a sense of calm. On that note, the Balance App (meditation app) has been a game-changer for me.
My life.... you summed it up extremely articulately.... (sigh)
I wish there were an easy answer to this. And you're right, we "know" that worrying doesn't help, but our brains worry all the same. For me, I have found a couple of things that do help with stress and worry. The first is journaling. Specifically, in times of stress in my life, Morning Pages journaling has helped dump out the "brain garbage." The second thing is breathing exercises. The Wim Hop method is a good place to start and helps me feel centered.
Dude, I need another full Tyler playlist
As my dad used to say “don’t sweat the small stuff.” But it isn’t always that simple. A lot of worrying may be using energy needlessly-but sometimes I think it may be our way to sift through details, ideas, plans or solutions looking for the right fit.