It takes a crash, sometimes, it takes a catastrophic fall. Sometimes it takes pain to shine a light on the beautiful blurred realization hiding just beyond all that blinding ache. The older I get, the more I understand that the lessons that linger with me more than almost all others, have all come during periods of what I call sweet misery. Sweet because in the end, the realizations we reach indeed are sugary to the insides of us, but misery because they are, for lack of a better word, miserably hard. Sometimes, we suffer to truly see, we lose to find out what matters most, we sob to finally breathe again. Too much life is spent avoiding this pain, avoiding these periods of brokenness because they are difficult, they are heavy, and they hurt. If we allow ourselves to sink into the harder days, to embrace the sorrow for a time, we can see things we never thought possible. Rushing through this, avoiding it at all costs, cheapens this experience we call life, it steals half of what makes us full humans, and we have to stop. I am not one to suggest lingering in unnecessary sadness, undeserved misery, but I do suggest the next time you find yourself in a situation that hurts a bit, rather than speeding through it and wishing it away, look a bit deeper into it and try to learn the lesson it is offering up. I’ve a sneaking suspicion, you’ll find much more than you ever expected, and if you allow it, it can be transformative.
This is so beautiful. And so true. I've felt my way through so much pain this last year, but man have I grown to see new things and view life from a perspective I've never had before. I've always thought pain was essential. We have to feel everything in order to really be alive.
Everyday of my life chronic migraine hears this. “the truth will set us free” but “ignorance is bliss”. Happiness is the avoidance of pain. Joy is earned by conquering it. One is bright, beautiful, fleeting, barley singeing. One glows deep, sometimes hidden behind ash, yet still setting alight all who enter.
So great! Facing a painful truth is cutting. My grandfather told me once that adversity builds character. At the time, I'd just turned 30 - I had no idea.
Really appreciating this. When we can lean in hard to the challenge, the discomfort, the pain of a situation....it seems to give up the lesson willfully. Denying the discomfort, pretending it away, or rejecting it is really unproductive....it just returns again and again....so it really prolongs both the pain and the time it takes to learn what it came to teach. It seems we're not here for a pleasure cruise on 3rd Rock. Rather, we're here to sit in the crucible of life and burn...and to be reborn, acquire wisdom, and burn again another day.
Just getting back to this...and there's so much to be gained by taking the time to examine the pain when going though something that hurts. I recently came to the realization that I had allowed my family (my mom in particular) to be disrespectful and get away with ignoring me or my requests for space, my need for people to not drop in uninvited or unannounced, and to have a genuine interest in things that are important to me. A few weeks ago I was at my daughter's house in the middle of three projects (they recently bought their first home and things needed fixing, painting, cleaning, etc) and my mom walked in the door, uninvited, as she has been known to do. I said "Um, we're very busy in the middle of several things. It's not a great time." She was offended and said "That's no way to greet family!" It was a mess. She later vented to my son, who called to berate me for being rude.
This has been painful to work through, but I've learned a lot...I can't own how then feel about me refusing to be disrespected in this way anymore. I need to be clearer with communication and firm with my needs, and not take on the guilt they're accustomed to putting on me. It's painful realizing that I've allowed them to do this, and healing to move past it.
This is so beautiful. And so true. I've felt my way through so much pain this last year, but man have I grown to see new things and view life from a perspective I've never had before. I've always thought pain was essential. We have to feel everything in order to really be alive.
Everyday of my life chronic migraine hears this. “the truth will set us free” but “ignorance is bliss”. Happiness is the avoidance of pain. Joy is earned by conquering it. One is bright, beautiful, fleeting, barley singeing. One glows deep, sometimes hidden behind ash, yet still setting alight all who enter.
So great! Facing a painful truth is cutting. My grandfather told me once that adversity builds character. At the time, I'd just turned 30 - I had no idea.
Really appreciating this. When we can lean in hard to the challenge, the discomfort, the pain of a situation....it seems to give up the lesson willfully. Denying the discomfort, pretending it away, or rejecting it is really unproductive....it just returns again and again....so it really prolongs both the pain and the time it takes to learn what it came to teach. It seems we're not here for a pleasure cruise on 3rd Rock. Rather, we're here to sit in the crucible of life and burn...and to be reborn, acquire wisdom, and burn again another day.
Just getting back to this...and there's so much to be gained by taking the time to examine the pain when going though something that hurts. I recently came to the realization that I had allowed my family (my mom in particular) to be disrespectful and get away with ignoring me or my requests for space, my need for people to not drop in uninvited or unannounced, and to have a genuine interest in things that are important to me. A few weeks ago I was at my daughter's house in the middle of three projects (they recently bought their first home and things needed fixing, painting, cleaning, etc) and my mom walked in the door, uninvited, as she has been known to do. I said "Um, we're very busy in the middle of several things. It's not a great time." She was offended and said "That's no way to greet family!" It was a mess. She later vented to my son, who called to berate me for being rude.
This has been painful to work through, but I've learned a lot...I can't own how then feel about me refusing to be disrespected in this way anymore. I need to be clearer with communication and firm with my needs, and not take on the guilt they're accustomed to putting on me. It's painful realizing that I've allowed them to do this, and healing to move past it.