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founding

A beautiful sentiment. But fear is strong.

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I have one regret in this life, and it goes back many years to "the one that got away". I was too young to really grasp the choices life had put before me, and I chose wrongly. I've been in contact with him, apologized profusely for my mistakes and we talked through the scars left behind. I suppose ultimately, I need to forgive that much younger version of myself and accept what is and the life I had instead to get past it, but im afraid that even after years of looking that mistake in the eye, I still regret it.

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This sums up the description of our lives in COVID - pushing us into the corners, left to contemplate what is important. All that is left from the vast and overwhelming quick shuffle that took us down the rapids of life is a stop sign, the pandemic. Here I sit - deciding what is most important in life....and I'm treading water. I wait for the wave to break, and I force myself now to create.

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We have been living in a pandemic for just about a year now. That’s given us plenty of time to be contemplative. Given that I am three quarter of a century old and live in a pandemic, I have been getting my house in order nicely. As you know, I write a lot, and in particular I have been writing poetry, a contemplative endeavor. I have been editing the many hundreds of poems that I have written for over sixty years. These poems were all over the place and are now collected. That has been a big item on my bucket list. For now, any further bucket list is empty — I’ve fulfilled it all, and, for the time being, I’m not looking for any further lists.

Many Buddhists write a death poem in which they try to summarize how they think they will feel at the time of death. Usually we are looking at a Haiku or a Tanka. Here is mine:

———

I have no regrets

live was full of pain and joy

doled out in balance

I feel content and cherished

all was good and now — farewell!

———

That brings me to regrets. I try to live my life in such a way that I won’t have any. In any case, regrets are somewhat pointless. You can’t undo the past and regretting things just impedes what you can do in the here and now. And, of course, planning for the future is also iffy because you have no idea how things will work especially in these times. So, I’m doing fine — I am content and grateful.

———

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such a wonderful reminder - cast the fear aside and go after what sets your soul on fire ❤️

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Sorry, for the spelling mistake in my death poem. The correct version is:

I have no regrets —

life was full of pain and joy

doled out in balance

I feel content and cherished

all was good and now — farewell!

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Sometimes it’s that one word that gives me goosebumps, and “inkless” did it. Working on forever living a life that uses so much ink writing out the beauty and blessings that there’s simply no ink left for regrets :)

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