The Sunday Edition
Thank you for this! The reminder is so necessary... I will turn 50 this year and for the first time in my life, largely due to the necessity of seeking comforts during the pandemic, I decided I'm not willing to live in a state of perpetual hunger anymore. I'm a little thicker, but I'm softer in ways that I know are lovable. May we all start to see ourselves with just a bit more compassion. 💗
I can't remember a time where I felt my body was great. I try to love it and acknowledge all that it is, but I can't ever be quite comfortable. It does seem to be a universal women-wound of some kind.
I hadn’t been with a man in almost five years, and I was beginning to believe that I was unattractive, undesirable even. All at the tender age of 22. But yesterday, I made love with a man who instantly made me feel so safe and comfortable and sexy. Every worry about every extra pound or mark or fold was driven away when he held me. I felt like Helen of Troy in his arms.
And though the feminist in me proclaims that I should be able to love myself unconditionally, I can’t wholly ignore how important a role a lover plays. As Madeleine Miller beautifully wrote, “I think I could eat the world raw”. He thinks I’m beautiful and I believe him. He thinks I’m beautiful and I think I could do anything, be anything, so long as he looks at me with those eyes for the rest of my life.
I've found someone who tells me, "Please don't color your hair, those gray hairs are hard earned, and a badge of honor." when I exclaim that the stray gray seems to have brought friends I didn't invite to the party. When I grumble about the stretched skin that gave me two children a lifetime ago, he again says, "That shows you're a wonderful mama, and you've lived." He also knows I've got a few extra pounds that snuck in over the last few months as middle age sets in and hormonal changes are making the battle so much harder, and he encourages me to get up from my desk more often (I work from home) and keep the blood moving. The gentle reminders that he finds me beautiful as I am are appreciated, and helps me to be more accepting of the skin I'm in. (I do want to get rid of the 15 pounds that snuck up on me, though.)
This is beautiful. A much needed reminder. Thank you for your support and love. Loving your body as-is is always a process.
How beautiful it is, as a woman who shares feelings of being not enough of something and perhaps too much of something else, similar to the women you love the most, to truly be seen and honoured by you, Tyler. Thank you so much for this beautiful compassionate post <3
There seems to be, finally, this growing number of men (maybe they’ve always been around but the louder, more obnoxious ones are heard) who truly support and lift up women. Men who strive to be better, do better, encourage better in other men. Tyler, you are at the top of this list! Thank you!