Full disclosure honest post today folks: I am going a bit stir crazy. It’s been almost an entire year now where my lovely wife and I have not been able to work, travel, or live anything that remotely resembles the life we once lived. I know my story is a common one, that hundreds of thousands of people could tell, but it’s mine all the same. We’re at almost a year without a normal paycheck, literally, almost a year since we’ve shot our last wedding, almost a year since we’ve boarded a plane, train, or hell, even an automobile to do our work. I am quite honestly running in place, and I’m running out of ways to pretend I’m not positively aching for what was once my normal life.
Hang in there! I completely feel you...the monotony drones on and it takes work to find the joy in the constantly small bubble in which we dwell. I haven’t traveled for nearly a year, which is a first for me as a regular international traveler, and I even have a new nephew I have yet to meet in person...the way things are going, he might be a year old before that happens! I’ve taken to trying to do something every day outside my comfort zone...walking the dog a new route, looking up something online that I’m curious about but know nothing of, or even wearing all the beautiful clothes I love even though I’m not going anywhere. The ache for adventure doesn’t go away, so I try to use the restlessness to inform new parts of myself. Here’s to a boundless world waiting to reveal its wonder once again!🥂
Like Groundhog day every moment here. I have lots of wonderful things at home to do and read and learn and play but no motivation to do them. Its like being on a treadmill going nowhere. At my elderly age I was planning to travel and visit family but feel like time is running out for me. You all youngsters will get threw this, but for some of us, maybe not. Blessings all.
This ironically came after I had a complete meltdown yesterday... When trying to describe how I was feeling to my hubby through the tears and hyperventilation, I said that I feel like a caged animal, meant to be roaming around not stuck in a box. It was all too much and came flooding out. We both consistently do what’s right for others and ourselves but in turn, it’s breaking me down into dust. I feel like I’m wilting like an unwatered, uncared for flower in a pot. I’m used to being a wild sunflower who always turns itself towards the light for growth. Unfortunately I can’t seem to find that light too often. I feel all the feels as you. If and when this all softens, or dare I say, ends, it will make for some crazy adventures of a lifetime. Fingers and toes crossed, and thoughts and prayers to all those who have lost so much more than their minds during this unprecedented time. And to sum up.... hubby took me out of my cage for a little playtime at our favorite bar.... (Socially responsible of course).... and it helped immensely 😉
Today has been especially tough for me as well. I have this desire to drive to the mountains, drive to the desert, go on some crazy and grand road trip but staying home is a must for me right now. Wishing and dreaming of days full of wind in my hair, colors in my eyes, and adventure in my heart.
I'm right there with you. Doing what I can to stay grounded in the present but feeling that longing that only travel can satiate.
Oh I was going to mention Groundhog day but email@example.com beat me to it! I have to physically look at a calendar, remind myself what day it is. As Nine Inch Nails sings, "Every day is exactly the same"! I certainly can empathize and relate to your post - 100%. Adopted a rescue dog 3 months ago and that seems to help but it is still a hamster wheel for me as well.
I hear you loud and clear...imagine Katniss Everdeen's signal of solidarity across the miles. Each weekday is a drive to work, teach with a mask to hybrid students or in an empty classroom to avatars in a virtual class, drive home, dinner, kids to bed, sleep.... repeat, repeat, repeat. And weekends I sometimes don't even change out of PJs because I'm mentally exhausted from the week and what's the point? We're not going anywhere. It's heavy. The months of October through December were made slightly novel by a move to a new house...which is good....but we're in and now it's just monotony in a new place, lovely as it is. Honestly, novel TV has been the lifesaver this year. I don't usually watch much, but my husband and I had the "Summer of Thrones" and binged all 8 seasons of Game of Thrones from June to September. After the move, we binged both seasons of The Mandalorian. I guess when our bodies have to stay in place, there's something to be said for sending your mind on an epic adventure. And it's a little less work than reading the epic trip (fun as that is) I'm about ten chapters into reading GOT now....and it's a bit slower pace. Anyway, we just have to keep reminding ourselves that it's just for now, not forever. With the vaccine making its way among us, we just have to be patient...and find some epic adventures of the mind to travel.